GROWW
For Widowed allows us to be or do whatever it takes to move
forward, to know that letting go of the pain is not letting
go of the memory of the love.
Wearing
the "mask of pretense" might be good for the people
around you but what does it do for you? You have to let yourself
feel whatever it is you're feeling. Too many wear the mask
of the "clown" while underneath there is pain that
is hidden even from themselves. They think they are so tough
that they don't have to cry.....laughing and challenging the
world.. "look at me, I'm doing okay" Well we're
not doing okay if we don't allow ourselves to go through the
grieving. Otherwise, when the mask comes off, usually just
before the anniversary date, it's torn hard, like a bandaid
coming off of an open wound. It hurts terribly because it
tears away what you think was healing, but it's raw and painful.
No
one else can tell you how to feel or how to grieve. Of course
it hurts......don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong
for hurting. You were a part of each other, but there is healing
that has to come with time that you must allow yourself to
have.You will, like that open wound, heal as you should, given
the time that it takes. We can't tell you how long, but it's
not an overnight healing. It hurts. No one can tell you it
doesn't and no one can tell you to "get on with it".
It is pain you have to feel in order to heal. And yes....it's
healing. A word you won't understand until you get there.
And you will, but not while the mask is worn. Take it off
and be who you are, not what you think others expect you to
be.
GROWW
For Widowed is our Branch where men and women can openly express
their pain, their fears, their steps that they take in their
healing and finally their healing. Where laughter and tears
are shared. When we realize that the day we can laugh for
the first time and not feel guilty for doing so, is one step
closer to realizing there is no shame in learning to live
again and love again. "A heart that hurts is a heart
that works". Our hearts were broken but they were not
removed and they can recover from the emptiness little by
little, one step at a time.
"Letters to
My Husband" is the ultimate result of Fern Field Brooks's
touching, heartrending, yet often humorous journey, which offers
comfort and inspiration to anyone who has suffered the loss
of a
loved one. Ms. Brook's is a long time friend to the GROWW
support groups.
The
GROWW rooms consist of thousands of people, each with different
lifestyles and opinions. We do not judge anyone's right to grieve
or their right to live their lives. There are stages of grief
that everyone who comes here will go through. The roller coaster
of emotions that each of us feel. The good days and the bad.
This is why we have created a second room to our main support
rooms. GROWW for Widowed has GFW2
or the "Moving On" room. Grief Recovery has HomeGROWWn.The
"second" rooms are for fellowship, for camaraderie
but they are just as much for support as the main rooms. They
are also GROWW rooms and are to be used with the same amount
of integrity.
Because
these rooms were provided to members for fellowship, does not
mean they can be rooms where "all the rules" don't
apply. The rooms are provided for the support of those
who need support. The main rooms, while very often there is
laughter and fun, is for all members who come for support. If
they are in a bad place and you find it difficult to listen
because you don't want to "go back there", then the
second rooms are there for you to visit and fellowship, laugh
and joke but to always support one another.
AnneGD
