GROWW
For Widowed allows us to be or do whatever it takes to move forward,
to know that letting go of the pain is not letting go of the memory
of the love.
Wearing
the "mask of pretense" might be good for the people
around you but what does it do for you? You have to let yourself
feel whatever it is you're feeling. Too many wear the mask of
the "clown" while underneath there is pain that is hidden
even from themselves. They think they are so tough that they don't
have to cry.....laughing and challenging the world.. "look
at me, I'm doing okay" Well we're not doing okay if we don't
allow ourselves to go through the grieving. Otherwise, when the
mask comes off, usually just before the anniversary date, it's
torn hard, like a bandaid coming off of an open wound. It hurts
terribly because it tears away what you think was healing, but
it's raw and painful.
No
one else can tell you how to feel or how to grieve. Of course
it hurts......don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for
hurting. You were a part of each other, but there is healing that
has to come with time that you must allow yourself to have.You
will, like that open wound, heal as you should, given the time
that it takes. We can't tell you how long, but it's not an overnight
healing. It hurts. No one can tell you it doesn't and no one can
tell you to "get on with it". It is pain you have to
feel in order to heal. And yes....it's healing. A word you won't
understand until you get there. And you will, but not while the
mask is worn. Take it off and be who you are, not what you think
others expect you to be.
GROWW
For Widowed is our Branch where men and women can openly express
their pain, their fears, their steps that they take in their healing
and finally their healing. Where laughter and tears are shared.
When we realize that the day we can laugh for the first time and
not feel guilty for doing so, is one step closer to realizing
there is no shame in learning to live again and love again. "A
heart that hurts is a heart that works". Our hearts were
broken but they were not removed and they can recover from the
emptiness little by little, one step at a time.
Please click on the GROWW icon above to enter the Chatroom
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Chatroom
is opened 24/7 for
its members
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One time only Please
GROWW is not a religious site. Other than brief statements of
affirmation, discussion of religion is not permitted in GROWW
chat rooms other than the Faith room, which meets on
Tuesdays 8:30 - 10 PM ET. Discussions of religion, like those of
politics or sex, too often turn into arguments, and those
matters are not appropriate GROWW chat room topics. Thank you for your understanding.
"Letters
to My Husband" is the ultimate result of Fern Field Brooks's
touching, heartrending, yet often humorous journey, which offers
comfort and inspiration to anyone who has suffered the loss of a
loved one. Ms. Brook's is a long time friend to the GROWW
support groups.
The
GROWW rooms consist of thousands of people, each with different
lifestyles and opinions. We do not judge anyone's right to grieve
or their right to live their lives. There are stages of grief that
everyone who comes here will go through. The roller coaster of emotions
that each of us feel. The good days and the bad. This is why we
have created a second room to our main support rooms. GROWW for
Widowed has GFW2 or the "Moving On"
room. Grief Recovery has HomeGROWWn.The "second" rooms are for fellowship, for camaraderie
but they are just as much for support as the main rooms. They are
also GROWW rooms and are to be used with the same amount of integrity.
Because
these rooms were provided to members for fellowship, does not mean
they can be rooms where "all the rules" don't apply.
The rooms are provided for the support of those who need support.
The main rooms, while very often there is laughter and fun, is for
all members who come for support. If they are in a bad place and
you find it difficult to listen because you don't want to "go
back there", then the second rooms are there for you to visit
and fellowship, laugh and joke but to always support one another.
AnneGD
