AnneGD ~ AnneGD@groww.org 

**AGELESS** Georgia. I lost my husband Michael from complications due to stomach cancer on Feb. 27, 1997. He was 3 weeks shy of his 44th birthday. He was diagnosed 3 weeks after his 42nd birthday and tried with all his might to beat it, but the cancer beat him in the end. He crashed once after the initial surgery and saw the "light" but he said he couldn't go at that time (maybe because I was yelling at him that he couldn't leave us yet!). He stayed with us for 9 months after that knowing that we needed him in any way, shape or form. Finally, I told him it was ok to go find peace and be pain-free, and that we would be ok. It wasn't easy to let him go, but I knew I had to. The hardest part was trying to explain to a 5-year-old that Daddy was going to die. It's been 4 years now and life sure has changed. We have been blessed a second time, met a fellow widower right here thru GROWW, married 10/15/99. Now I have 3 kids, 3 cats and a dog! I will always try to give back as much as I get from GROWW, it saved my sanity and I have made some of the best friends I've ever had here. " With an open heart and an open mind ANYTHING is possible".

GROWW Executive Director, Host for Grief Recovery, Manager for GROWW for Widowed

Barb - LimeyAngel@comcast.net 

AKA GFWOHostLimey, GRHostLimey

I am an import from Great Britain, now living in Florida. I lost my husband, George to a sudden heart attack on 2/20/92. For the first couple of years, I was in total shock, depressed, lonely and numb. My cyber grief recovery journey began on AOL in Widows and Widowers -- it was there that I met Judy Divers. We spent many hours in the chat room together. I am proud to say that I was here on the first day GROWW opened the doors in January 1998. I have been blessed with meeting many of you at gatherings, weddings and while on vacation. I consider you to be my family. You have been with me through some hard times since I was widowed and I am grateful for the support and love you have given me. I hope I can give back just a fraction of what was so freely given to me.

Assistant Manager for GROWW for Widowed, Host for GROWW for Widowed, Host for Grief Recovery

Libby ~ Libby@groww.org

AKA GFWHostLibby, GRHostLibby, GAHostLibby 

I lost my husband and best friend of almost 25 years, John, on 3/15/97.  We started our journey in February of 1995 when his doctor first feared that John could have ALS.  It was later confirmed that John had a rare neurological disorder called OPCA which basically means that his brainstem was dying.  Through our years together we were blessed with two great kids, Jenny and Aaron.  John was able to meet Jenny's future husband and get to know him before he passed away.  Jenny was married two months after he died.  He was also able to see our son graduate from high school in 1995.  Before John's death, I was never online.  But in the summer of 1998 I found GROWW and GFWO and must say I'm addicted.  I realized that we have such a bond that unless you have experienced death of a spouse you cannot truly understand.  I have been blessed with so many good friends through GFWO and was able to meet many of them through the years.  I know in my heart that John is in a better place and that while we may not agree, everything happens to us for a reason.  I truly believe that my reason is to give back the kindness and understanding what I have been given each day.  

GROWW Director of Branches, Host for GROWW for Widowed, Host for Grief Recovery

Rachel Rachel@groww.org

AKA GFWHostRachel, GFWHostSquirt, GRHostRachel

I live in Vermont on a country road with the trees and wildlife surrounding me. Charlie died suddenly, on 11/8/98, from a heart attack after responding to a car fire as deputy chief of our small local vol. fire dept. He was 56 and had no prior history of health problems. There is no doubt in my mind that emergency personnel, on the scene, did everything they could to save him but it was not to be. Our family consists of my son, his 2 sons and a grandaughter that was the light of his life. I am very fortunate as his sons remain close. My son is currently in the coast guard. I found GROWW in May of 99 and the support here was unbelievable. It is here that I have learned to laugh again and my hope is that I can make this path we must travel a little less difficult for others.

GROWW Webmistress, GROWW Message Board Manager, Host for GROWW for Widowed, Host for Grief Recovery

Harold hdlambert@bellsouth.net

AKA GRHostHal

Milan, Tennessee. I lost the love of my life, my wife of 25 years, Carol, on April 20, 2000 without warning to respiratory failure. She was 50 years old.  She passed away at home in bed while my daughter and I were at work. Angela came home and found her, went screaming out of the house, our neighbor heard her, called 911, and then notified me at work. Needless to say, I was stunned.  My life had changed suddenly, and now I was alone. The next six months I didn't want anything to do with anybody; I just wanted to be left alone with my thoughts. As the holidays approached in November of 2000, I went on line in search of some help in dealing with what I was feeling, that is when I found
GROWW. It has been a lifesaver for me. From the first day I went into the widowed chat room, I felt an understanding that no one here could give me, because they had not experienced the death of a loved one, while the people in GROWW had experienced the same thing I had. We had a common bond. I have been here ever since, trying to give back what was given to me.  As my grief recovery lengthened, I became involved with a very caring lady friend, and I have since remarried. I consider myself to be an extremely lucky man, for I now have had two wonderful women in my life. I will never forget Carol, she was my first love, and I cherish the memories we had together.  I
have a website in honor of Carol that all are welcome to visit; it is a
memorial to a very special lady in my life.

http://www.home.bellsouth.net/p/pwp-clm

I am proud to have been nominated as a host for GROWW. I only hope that as a
host I can give back that understanding and compassion that all new people in
grief need.

Host for GROWW for Widowed, Host for Grief Recovery

PG pgfelker@comcast.net 

AKA GRHostPG, GFWHostPG 

Greetings: My name is Phil Felker. I lost Barbara, my wife, lover, confidant, help mate, teacher, and best friend on June 27, 1999, to that silent killer, ovarian cancer. We were together for 40 years and raised two sons, now 37 and 33 years old. Our oldest son is married to a very sweet woman whom I cherish dearly. Even though I worked full time, I was Barbara's caregiver for the eight months of her illness. Due to a medication that was administered in the hospital, we were unable to communicate during the last three weeks of her life. This has made her loss unique because there were so many things we needed to discuss and affairs that needed to be settled. However, being the survivor that we are, I have managed to make the best of things. A friend and member of our local support group told me about GROWW. From the first night I logged on, I have felt very comfortable and a member of a great group of friends. The members of GROWW have been a tremendous help to me and helped me through the long, torturous grief recovery process. I thank them all everyday for the laughter they bring to me at times when I am not feeling so well. Hopefully I can do as well in assisting others as they join our family on line.

Host for GROWW for Widowed, Manager for Golden Angels

AZSharon wfses2@comcast.net

AKA GFWHostSharonAZ, GRHostSharon, SRHostSharon

SharonAZ, Michigan. Lost my husband Bill, 59, 8-31-98, to sudden heart attack. I came home from work and found Bill on the kitchen floor, he had been there all day. Besides losing my husband and partner of 37 years, my best friend and companion was gone. We have a married daughter, Linda, and two granddaughters Tina and Jamie. About six weeks after Bill died, I found GROWW. I was on the verge of losing my sanity and I believe he led me here because I still have things to do in this life. I am honored to be a Host for GROWW and to give back a small part of the love and understanding I have received. In the course of hosting for the widowed room I met a new love and we were married at the Phoenix gathering in April 2001. I was living in Phoenix, and moved to Michigan with my new husband. When Bill died that book of marriage was forever closed, and I lived the epilogue. My marriage to Phillip is a new book and happiness once again.

Host for GROWW for Widowed, Manager for Golden Angels, Host for Guiding Angels

PhilD pesciclone1@aol.com

AKA GFWHostPhilD

"Old enough to know better", Georgia. I lost my wife Pam on 12/17/97 from what they call multiple medication poisoning, meaning too many doctors prescribing too many drugs. Would have been married 25 years 11 months from the day she died, left me with 2 kids 11 and 16 at the time. Went to AOL WW and Judy Divers found me there, told me she was starting a new site called GROWW, I had no idea what she was talking about at the time but I figured I'd give it a shot. Glad I did. I soon found out that grief came in many categories, and that it had no age limits. I read somewhere that death ends a life, not a relationship; we lose the physical presence but will always have the spiritual presence. Because of this, I felt like many of us do, that I would always be alone. Boy, was I wrong. I found through GROWW that we can move on and in some cases even find happiness again. I was fortunate enough to find someone to share my Life, right here in GROWW. I try to give back and share what I have learned and experienced in my journey through the grieving process. I know a lot of folks think it will never get better, but it does. If WE want it too………we all control our own destiny. Look, if ya don't like the cards you were dealt…. Re-shuffle the deck.

GROWW Director of Security, Host for GROWW for Widowed