	GROWW E-Mail Newsletter
14 February 2004	Circulation: 814	Volume 2, Number 4
Editor · Pat Sirni Associate Editor · Margot Hill Newsletter Staff · Angela Dyer · Lori Petersen GROWW Officers · Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive Director GROWW Staff · Libby Morningstar, Director of Branches · Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager · Rachel Frank, Message Board Manager · Phil D’Ambrosio, Director of Security	Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio February is here. Well all, tax season is upon us. That means it’s almost time to pay for the GROWW chat rooms again. For those of you who are new to GROWW, we are a 501c(3) corporation, that means your contributions are 100% deductible as long as you do NOT donate more than 50% of you AGI (adjustable gross income). If you are looking for a worthy cause, you have found one. As you all know, there are no dues or fees to belong to GROWW, all we ask is IF you are able to, please remember us when you have a little extra or are doing your taxes and thinking, wow I could have used a few more donations to deduct. We count on all of your generosity to keep GROWW going. Remember all GROWW staff and Hosts are volunteer; no one is paid to work at GROWW. This is the time of year that makes me the most nervous, making sure we can pay to keep the rooms going and Judy’s dream alive. We have a great friend of GROWW’s who is looking into getting us some Grant money. It’s another new adventure for us. If any of you have had any experience that you would like to share with us, how to’s, what they look for, who we should target, good books, anything that might be of interest, please send me an email with the word GRANT in the subject. We’re always looking for new ideas to make money for GROWW, and I will be getting some more stock made after the rooms are paid for, first things first. Since I have mentioned it, purchasing GROWW item’s is deductible BUT only for the difference between the cost and what you paid for it, so if you do buy any GROWW “stuff” and you do want a tax-deductible receipt, please let me know. Until next month, Good Grief AnneGD Meet Your Host – GRHostAngeeD Interview by Pat Sirni GRHost AngeeD Angee has been a GROWW member since shortly after losing her fiance in June 2002. Phil died unexpectedly as the result of heart failure. He was a highly decorated police officer who had been awarded the Medal of Valor, the most prestigious honor for a policeman, for crawling into a burning house to save a woman's life. Angee speaks proudly of Phil and his many accomplishments. Phil leaves a son Tyler, who was ten years old when he lost his dad. She remains close to Tyler, spending time with him and attending his sporting events. A Michigan native, Angee graduated from Michigan State University College of Veterinary Medicine in 1995. She is currently employed as a veterinarian at a small animal clinic in San Diego. She works mostly with dogs and cats but sees the occasional hamster and bunny too. She finds her job both intellectually and emotionally challenging. At home, she has two cats, Samson and Delilah, and a dog, Professor Arthur J. Peabody. She says that she has seen firsthand how much pets can help those who are grieving to feel needed and loved. A GROWW host for the past year, Angee says that GROWW has helped her tremendously. " At first, I spent every waking moment I could in the chat room. I was feeling so alone. It was wonderful to be with people, especially people who understood my pain. I was able to talk and cry and tell my story over and over. Those things really helped me heal. Even though I didn't believe it could ever happen to me, seeing people who had healed and were doing well gave me hope. I got a shoulder to cry on, wonderful hugs, helpful suggestions, and even people to laugh with! We all heal differently and in different timeframes. I truly believe GROWW helped me on my healing journey the most. I still have my days, as do we all. But I know where to go if I am blue. I have met some wonderful people here, and in person. As a host, I feel blessed to be able to give back a small bit of what I was given." I asked Angee what advice she would give to those just starting the path of grief. Her response "Grief is overwhelmingly hard. I am a doer. I like to act to solve problems. I was constantly fighting myself, putting pressure on myself to heal faster, to do more, to be more, etc. Don't fall into that trap. Grief recovery is a long, slow road with many twists, turns, and potholes. Lean on your friends and family. Talk about your loss! Accept other's advice in the loving manner in which it is given. Do not be ashamed to cry. Crying is a sign that you love the person who died. Do not wall yourself off. Even if it is hard, try a bereavement support group, or individual counseling. They cannot solve your problems, but can help you to get the tools you need to do it yourself. Don't be afraid to take it slow and easy. Most of all treat yourself as your loved one would want you to be treated." GROWW is blessed to have Angee as a member of our host family. She hosts in both Grief Recovery and GROWW for Widowed. Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar Good February to all. I had written my article for this month and had asked our new manager, Taryn of Guiding for Youth to give me some input as to what she would like me to mention. Well I cheated and took her entire note and have included it here. I believe she says it beautifully what we hope to accomplish and the need for our youth room. I would also like to mention that the Michigan Gathering has been set again for this year and will be held July 16 - 18, 2004. Please see the gathering page for all the details. Last year we exceeded our previous attendance to a whopping 65, we want to top that this year. We have created a web page @ http://www.webspawner.com/users/mi2004 and the email address for getting your registration information is mi2004gathering@yahoo.com. We so look forward to meeting new friends and seeing old friends. Libby From Taryn: I am honored to have been placed in the position of Room Manager of the Guiding for Youth Room. The objectives of the room is not only to provide safe grief support to those who have lost a loved one at a young age, but also to encourage and provide support and advice to these young people. The room is comprised of young people under the age of 18. The ones that have been visiting regularly are fast becoming good friends and are very supportive of each other. When the room first reopened, there would only be one visitor a week if even that. Then, it slowly started becoming a room to meet other kids who had a loss but most talk, beyond the initial introduction was about school and pets. Lately, there has been a lot more grief work being done in the room. I have seen kids go from not talking much to slowly start to share about their losses. I have found, that once given the initial incentive and support, the ability to try and hold on to this roller coaster and help others on the ride, begins to develop. Although I wish that it wasn't needed at all, I can only hope those that need us find it. The room started back up slowly but now there is usually a nice mix of regulars and newbies. I hope those who tried the room when it was just getting built back up again and only had me to talk to will try again now. For those who cannot make the scheduled time, please email me at GRHostTaryn@hotmail.com as I will be scheduling occasional additional chat times to accommodate schedules, especially for those friends overseas who have to visit us when they should be sleeping! Children grieve differently than adults. In fact, sometimes it appears as if they are not grieving at all. If you know of a youngster who has suffered a loss, please share this room with them. Guest Column Hi to all my GROWW friends. I am Fran and my little 2 ½ yr. old grandson, Kendall, his 21 yr. old mother, Cordae, and her 24 yr. old friend, Valerie, were murdered on July 1, 2002 by Valerie’s father, Alan Gates, with a handgun in Orange Co., NC. Three families in three different counties of NC now suffer unspeakable grief of our loss and the horror they all must have gone through before they were murdered. He shot them execution style with the gun put next to their skin, wrote racial slurs on the mirrors in Valerie’s home and then went to sleep on one of the beds in the home. Valerie’s mother came home with the police - she had a feeling her ex-husband might be there - and found them all in a back bedroom of the home. They had just stopped at the house for a minute and were on the way to the movies - taking Kendall to see Spirit. I have nightmares of trying to save them and in the dreams hear them calling me for help. Cordae and Kendall were not members of the Gates family but were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time - in the middle of a family plagued with domestic violence for years. They both came from loving, caring families and knew nothing of violence or hatred. 1 in 4 women in the US suffer under the tragedy of domestic violence at least once during their lifetime - beatings, rape, emotional abuse, verbal abuse. But domestic violence isn’t just a national tragedy. Women, children, and men suffer daily beatings all over the world. A report in NOW Legal Defense shows that as many as 60 percent of women on welfare are domestic violence survivors. Domestic violence makes women poor and keeps women poor. Cordae’s mom and I have become very active in education of the public on the domestic violence tragedy and have been lobbying the NC State Legislature in toughening laws against domestic violence. Our anti- abuse campaign is that love is not abuse. A loving relationship should never involve abusive or violent behavior. This is a problem that won’t go away until everyone is aware of what they can do to prevent it. We live in a society that, by its silence, tolerates violence. We ask everyone - Don’t stand on the sidelines - stand up. "There is no excuse for Domestic Violence" We need your help - battered and abused women need your help. Until the violence stops, women all over the country needs a place where every battered woman finds the support she needs from her coworkers, friends and neighbors to leave a violent relationship. A place where no one excuses the abusive behavior and everyone is committed to being part of the solution. We can make this place a reality in our communities. We need your help to show your state legislature, Congress and local agencies that they can make a difference with initiatives to end violence against women. You can email, call, or write your senators and representatives and tell them you support legislation against domestic violence. You can write an opinion to the editor of your local newspaper. Break the Silence. I thank you for all your support during the past 2 years. You have enabled me to get through days I thought I could not survive. Now I ask you to help the helpless - the battered women of this country and this world. Stop the Violence - I will speak for Kendall and Cordae because they can no longer speak for themselves, I will speak because I know, and I will speak until I am heard. Fran Bumgarner Bittersweet Fran Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio Hi Guyz, I’m sittin here watchin Anne write her article for February. For those of you who don’t already know Anne and I met here at GROWW and were lucky to find happiness again. Well, last week I kind of kept a log as best I could on how much time she devotes to GROWW I crunched the numbers and well, lemme share a week with ya. Monday, the alarm usually goes off at 6 AM, by the time I get my lazy self outta bed she’s already heading out the door, not before checking e mails. Anne can remotely check the site from work. I’m not sure how many times she does check, but I know she does. After dinner its to “Her Perch” as she calls it usually from 6 to 10PM. Well, that’s when she leaves the rooms anyway, maybe an extra hour checking the message boards and checking e mails and filing submission forms that are received. Tuesday through Friday are pretty much the same give or take a few HUNDRED e mails. Weekends we get to sleep in, usually till 8:30 or 9. More e mails, welcome letters, bank statements, message boards, and checking the rooms. Every year at this time as April approaches she makes sure there is enough to pay the rooms for the following year. Those who have been at GROWW know this is more than volunteerism, it’s a calling. I think Anne covered all the technical stuff about the 501(c) stuff so I won’t get into that end of it. I just wanna let you guyz know that if it’s a dollar or a hundred every little donation makes a big impact on keeping the site running. Nobody within GROWW draws a salary or any form of compensation. We just get the satisfaction of knowing that we can help some “newbie” get through this grief thing. We were all there once and God willing we will be there for the next group. Rachel, Libs, Pat, Margo, AngeeD & Lori I didn’t forget you guyz either, Thanks for all you do!!!!!!! See ya next month…….Phil Poetry Corner Keep My Memory Keep my memory with you, For memories never die; I will be there with you, When you look across the sky. I will be there in the clouds, In the birds that fill the air; In the beauty of a fragrant rose, You will find my memory there. You will feel me in the tenderness, Of a tiny baby's touch; You will hear me if you listen, In the twilight's gentle hush. When your hearts are heavy. And you feel that you are alone; Just reach down deep inside of you, For your heart is now my home. I will always be with you, I will never go away; For I will live on in your hearts, Forever and a day. --Author unknown
GROWW, INC.© Judy Divers 11877 Douglas Rd - #102-PMB101 - Alpharetta GA 30005 501(c)(3) Non-Profit EIN: 59-3445877	Recipes From Members Easy Orange Smoothie Put in a blender: 1/2 C orange juice 1/2 milk 1 banana, in chunks 5 crushed ice cubes Easy to make, easy to get down even when you don't feel like eating. ******* You can add other stuff like yogurt, berries, wheat germ, protein powder. Submitted by Barby If you would like to submit a recipe or poem for publication in this newsletter, please send your submission to newsletter@groww.org To unsubscribe to this email click reply with UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject Line. For questions about this Newsletter or to submit an article, email newsletter@groww.org