GROWW E-Mail Newsletter

15 January 2005

Circulation: 1248

Volume 3, Number 3

Editor

·     ·     Pat Sirni

Associate Editor

·     ·     Angela Dyer

Newsletter Staff

·     ·     Lori Petersen

GROWW Officers

·     ·     Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive Director

GROWW Staff

·     ·     Libby Morningstar, Director of Branches

·     ·     Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager

·     ·     Rachel Frank, WebMistress

·     ·     Phil D’Ambrosio, Director of Security

Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio

Well, we all survived the holidays - some for the first time; some have succeeded in surviving more

then one.  Now everyone breathe, take a deep breath; and pat yourself on the back.  YOU survived

- it doesn’t matter how; just that you did it!  Be proud of yourself; all of us here at GROWW are proud

of you.

Now since 2005 is here, this is the THIRD Annual GROWW Fundraiser.  Why, you ask? 

We have to pay for the server that the chat rooms are on, the mailbox, the message boards. 

Every time we go to www.groww.org there is a server somewhere in California that maintains the

hardware, so GROWW doesn’t have to have it’s own server.  We could pay it monthly or annually,

we opt to do it annually, because there is a substantial discount by paying it this way. We save about

$500.00 per year.   We have other monthly fees that you will all see when I post the GROWW taxes. 

Which I will do in May.  Our fiscal year goes from May thru April.  We are a 501c non-profit

corporation, so all donations are tax deductible.

My goal for the next few months is to get business cards made and get them out to hospitals,

hospices, funeral homes, and support groups for them to pass out.  They are a lot more economical

then brochures and people tend to hold on to business cards longer.  Brochures end up in the

garbage.  If any of you would like some to pass out to a group, please email me the information.

  I would be more then happy to mail them to a support group or anywhere you think they would get

good use.  If you do know a place and would like to hand deliver them, let me know.  I will be doing

up an introduction letter to send with the cards.

As you all know, there are no dues or membership fees to belong to GROWW.  It has always been

free; and will always be free, as long as we get enough donations to keep us going.  And I truly

believe we have a wonderful group of people, who get such a great network of support here, that

will never be a problem.  If you find it in your heart and pocketbook, please think about GROWW.

  If you can’t please don’t worry about it, we are here for you - that’s our mission.

Until next month - Good Grief,

Anne

Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!   It is 2005? - hard to believe.  Resolutions, who ever keeps them?

Well my challenge to you is that you make a resolution to make it a better day for you.  OK so some

ay have to take it by the hour, I understand.  Take it slow, maybe allow yourself to have one good

memory, then two, then many more.  WE need to heal ourselves.  I won’t lie it is very hard work,

but it is doable I promise.  

Every time you come to GROWW look around at the friends you have made.   What makes

GROWW work is the people helping people.  Sure our situation is different, our relationship with the

person who died is different, but our grief is the same.  Someone we loved died.   

Next month I will be giving you an update on the different rooms offered through GROWW along

with their meeting times.   Until that time make that resolution to be good to you and to look to the

future.  It is our future, our path in life now.  How we live it is up to us. 

Libby

Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio

T’was the month after Christmas and all over the place,

The walls were now white, now Anne gives me some space.

The paperwork’s in for the refinance we pray,

So carpets of Dalton Anne will be headin your way.

The Christmas club money we’d been saving all year

Is gone now, I wish I knew where.

Oh wait, it went to Katie and Joey and don’t forget Matt,

It went for chair cushions that came from the cats.

The dining room chairs are covered anew,

The honey do list has decreased by a few.

Another year passes and this grief things still there,

I hope that GROWW’s chat rooms help keep you aware.

I’d like to thank our host’s for all their good deeds,

Whose dedication and time fill all of GROWW’s needs.

For those of you folks whose spare time is few,

In April each year GROWW’s room rents are due.

On Libby, on Rachel, on Pat, Phil and Anne,

Judy is smiling; all’s going according to plan.

Guest Column: Cindy Sutton:

I lost my husband Charles at the end of March 2004 from a heart attack while mowing the lawn -

the day after his birthday, and the day before mine.  Needless to say, I was in total shock.  I had

met Charles on the Internet a little over five years ago, and one thing that intrigued me about him

was his knowledge of aromatherapy.

After his death, someone told me about GROWW and I appeared occasionally in the chatrooms

(which by the way was a great help to me), and would talk a bit about how aromatherapy was helping

me through the grieving process.  Someone suggested I write an article about it.

The three 100% essential oils that I use mostly are lavender, peppermint, and eucalyptus.  A few

Lavender has a calming effect.  I would either put a few drops on my pillow at night to help me

sleep or put a few drops on my collar or on a tissue and just smell it to calm me down during the

day. 

Peppermint will calm an upset stomach.  I used the peppermint the same way as the lavender.

Four drops of lavender and two drops of peppermint mixed with a couple tablespoons of

grapeseed oil will stop a headache.  Mix just the lavender and peppermint and then using your

two pointer fingers dipped in this mixture, rub gently on your temples.  Then add the grapeseed

oil and put the mixture around your entire hairline and relax. 

Eucalyptus oil is good for clearing the nose and head after crying.  I used this oil in the same way

as the lavender.

Four to 6 drops of lavender added to your very warm bathwater and with the bathroom door closed

n relax you as well as take care of sore muscles.

I do hope these oils help you as they helped me.  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me.

Cindy Sutton (cindysutton@sbcglobal.net)

Host Interview by Pat Sirni -

Jenny:

I spent the first 15 years of my life living in England.  Those years were very hard and filled with abuse;
 hence the reason I now host in STORMYANGELS.  (editor’s note:  Stormy Angels is for women whose grief is
 complicated by issues of abuse.  The chat room is open Wednesdays 9:30-11:00 pm 
Eastern time. http://www.groww.org/Branches/stormy.htm)

At age 15 I left that home and went as a live in Nanny in Southampton,  England.  Back then, in the 60s,
 it was not easy as a 15 yr old living alone.  At age 18, I married Peter, my first husband and father of my children.
 I gave birth to my first child, Deborah who is now 38, when I was 19,   Deborah is now living In Japan as a 
missionary and has 5 children.

Soon after this I experienced my first major loss when my twins were born and died shortly after. Grief support 
was non-existent, you were told, “Get over it: go make another baby.”  So for many years, I felt the pain,
 but could never mention it. One year later, I lost Christopher the same way - no known reason.

One year later, I gave birth to Jeffery who is 34 years old now and married.

In 1971 we moved to Australia and three years later Jayne was born.  In another year, Phillippa was born
 I would have liked more children, but cancer took that chance away from me.

We decided we would be foster parents, and over the next 25 years fostered over 70 children.  We also 
adopted 3.The youngest we adopted was Carlene, who was 5 months old.  When Carlene was 3 my first 
husband left me with 5 children. It was at this time Carlene showed signs of having some serious health problems.
One was Karagemor’s syndrome which has similarities to Cystic fibrosis, but she was a fighter and lived a full
 rich life.  She loved every second of it, and inspired all those she met.  Carlene became my reason to get out of
 bed each day as my family disintegrated.  On June 7th 1998, Carlene sang a solo in church: "Jesus Loves Me".
 13 days later we sang it as her casket was lowered into the ground.  After years of health struggles, her life
 was snatched away as a result of medical malpractice.

The day after her service to "Celebrate her life" I walked into my sunroom and saw Carlene’s computer we 
had for home schooling.  I wanted to smash it.  I had NEVER used a computer - why would I now?  But instead,
 I keyed in grief.  The first place I found was GROWW. I saw chat and had no idea what Chat was but followed
 the instructions.  I was greeted by JUDYD and JAYHAWK!   Jayhawk said to me, “be here 3pm tomorrow.”
 I do not recall any of this but he says I was there each day at 3pm.  He and Judy plus others literally kept me 
ALIVE as I went through the police investigations into my angel’s death.  Eventually, Jayhawk and I exchanged 
phone numbers.  He had a $3000 phone bill in 1 month!  JUDYD even called me in Australia a couple of times
 to check to see if I was ok.

Before Carlene died, her favorite video was "The Wizard of Oz."  She would pretend she was Dorothy, put on 
her red shiny shoes and dance up my halls saying, “I'm of to see the wizard,”  She wanted so badly to go to 
Kansas, that I planned to take her in 1999.

My friendship with Jayhawk grew, and he eventually came to Australia to meet me in real life: Jan 1999, one
 year after his wife died.  He met my family who had him checked out thoroughly including an FBI check! 
 Jayhawk and I were married in March 1999 - the time I was planning to bring Carlene to Kansas.  I'm sure you 
have guessed by now Jayhawk is Howard, and Howard's home is in Kansas!!!! So I came as planned, but minus
 my daughter.

In July 2001, my mother died and again GROWW was there for me as they have been through other losses
 I have had. Grief is hard... it’s a long road we walk when we lose our loved ones but we can, with faith and the
 support of others, make the journey and forge our way through the dense emotions we feel.

I truly believe because Of GROWW I'm where I am.  In the year 2004, I got my first ever drivers license. 
 I passed my GED.  I started College to study psychology with the goal of being a grief/abuse counselor. All this,
 yet I left school at age 13 because my parents made me.  I would give up all this to have my children back, but
 they are not coming back.  So, I have chosen to forge a new life.  It’s hard at times, but each time I struggle 
GROWW is there for me.  I have formed many long term friendships and many of these people are more like
 family than friends.

At this time I host a LOT in Grief recovery.  I host in Stormy Angels, Heavenly Angels (editor’s note

  Heavenly Angels is for the loss of a child:  http://www.groww.org/Branches/heavenly.htm), and

more recently, I have started hosting in Faith Angels (editor’s note: Faith Angels is for those who

want to discuss religion and grief:  http://www.groww.org/Branches/faithangels.htm).

Whatever point you are at in your grief, I hope my story shows you there is hope. You can survive. 

You can make a good life.  You can change your focus, and I truly believe this is what our loved

ones would want. Allow GROWW to be your support and carry you when you can't do it alone.

I owe so much to GROWW for my healing and my new focus. I will be eternally grateful to them.

Recipe of the month:

Chocolate Covered Cherry Cookies (super yummy!)

Cookies:

3 cup flour

1 cup cocoa

½ tsp. baking powder

1 cup soft butter

2 cups sugar

2 eggs

3 tsp. vanilla

Cream butter and sugar.  Mix in dry ingredients.  Add egg and vanilla.  Form into balls and press

in the center.  Bake at 350º F for 8-10 min.

Topping:

6 oz. chocolate chips

Maraschino cherries

1 can sweetened condensed milk

Mix the chocolate chips and the condensed milk in a small pot and melt over low heat. 

Cut the cherries in half and place them in the cookies where you pressed in the center. 

Drizzle the topping over the cookies.

If you would like to submit a recipe or poem for publication in this newsletter, please send your

submission to newsletter@groww.org 

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