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GROWW E-Mail Newsletter |
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15 June 2003 |
Circulation:
483 |
Volume
1, Number 8 |
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Editor ·
Pat Sirni Associate Editor ·
Margot Hill Newsletter Staff ·
Angela Dyer ·
Lori Petersen GROWW Officers ·
Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive
Director GROWW Staff ·
·
Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager ·
Rachel Frank, Message Board Manager ·
Phil D’Ambrosio, Director
of Security |
Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio Well, June is here.
Vacation time for some, grief time for more then you ever imagined
till you found GROWW. You will notice now that sometimes the rooms are VERY busy and
sometimes the rooms are VERY quiet.
There is no rhyme or reason. We
try to have GR Hosted as much as possible.
If you get there and the room is empty, sit for a few minutes, someone
will probably join you. With summer here, there are lots of different feeling you are
going through. If you are feeling
anxiety or depression or anger, see your doctor, grieving can make you
physically ill and often time’s symptoms are overlooked. Remember to try to find a local support
group, it’s ALWAYS good to find someone to listen, support groups are
wonderful IF you let them be. Try to make some plans for weekends, even if it’s just one
little thing to get you out of the house for a while. If you hibernate you will feel lousy and it
won’t improve over the weekend when you sit there and think how much this
stinks…sitting around with nothing to do.
Make a list, do little things, plant a flower or tree in memory of
your loved one, take the dog for a walk, take the kids to the park, the fresh
air will do you all good. Now on a more serious note, I would like to remind all of you to
be careful in ANY chat room. We have a
persistent visitor who was banned from GROWW approximately a year ago and has
begun to rear her ugly head again. Her
name is Nadine and she is a very troubled person. We asked her to leave quite a while ago and
she did for a while, but now she has reared her ugly head again. I will be writing to AOL regarding her as
soon as I have enough information and back out. She starts out friendly and supportive and
then goes on to swear and curse people out and then she tells lies about
members and staff. She does NOT like
me at all! If any of you have a run in
with her, please put a message into the room especially if there is no Host
there and ask all members to put her on “ignore”. If we do not keep her entertained she WILL
go away. PLEASE do NOT answer her
PC’s, if she grab your attention she will call you on your loss in the room
to make you defend yourself, please don’t buy into that, I am begging you all
to do your part. I cannot ban her IP
because AOL does not have segregated servers.
If I ban her IP number I could potentially ban hundreds of AOL GROWW
members from getting into the chat room.
Please, if we all do this together, we can keep the people who upset
the rooms away. We do have the ability
to ban IP’s if anyone is offensive.
Please feel free to write to me at AnneGD@groww.org or staff@groww.org. Don’t forget to send in your donations. I am planning on bringing GROWW brochures
with me to the Michigan Gathering to pass out to people to share with their
local hospices, hospital, funeral homes and churches. Until next month, Good Grief Anne Meet Your Host – GRHost Where
do you live? Are you originally from
there? I live
in Do you
have family living with you? Do you
have children? My mother and two children live near
me. My daughter is married to a
wonderful man and they have two year old Abbie, the
joy of my life. My son just graduated
with a Bachelor in Criminal Justice and is entering a Master program this
June. Are you employed outside the home? If so, what do you do? In
March of this year I took a new position as an Accounting Manager with a
staff of 5 reporting directly to me.
It has been an adjustment but I think things are finally starting to
gel. What do
you do when you have a day off? On my
days off I love working in my yard. I
am an avid walker so in the evening I can be found out and about. I like keeping busy. I spend time with family and friends when
possible. I love going to the movies. What is
your favorite pastime or hobby? I think
my favorite pastime is being with people.
Whether it is in the fall when I volunteer building floats for the
Thanksgiving Day Parade in Detroit or being involved with the adult support
group I am now facilitating I find that being around people is a joy not to
be taken for granted. My other
favorite group that I facilitate for is called SandCastles. It is a grief support group for children
ages 3 to 18. SandCastles gives the children a safe place to explore their feelings
about death and grow into healthy loving children. For information about possible programs in
your area you can log onto www.dougy.org. Please
tell me about your loss. How long ago? The
death of my husband John to a rare neurological disorder is what brought me
to GROWW. We were both 44 at the time
of his death in March of 1997. When and
how did you find GROWW? Before
John's death I really was not online very much. It was a new thing to me. When I fist went online it was to research
about John's illness. That was
probably in the fall of 1997. It was
around February or March of 1998 that I went looking for grief support
online. I first found Widownet, but I could never get into their boards so one
night I just typed grief support into a search and there it was GROWW. I had never been in a chat room before so
it was all so very new to me. The OMG
this is the internet and you have to be so be so
very careful. Well I was.....I am How
long have you been a host? When I
pulled out my original papers sent to me by Judy Divers, I realized I got my
hosting title on What is
your advice to someone just starting to walk this path of grief? This
road called grief is not an easy road.
It is probably the hardest work we ever have to do, but it is
doable. In the early stages of grief
you need to take care of you. How can
you possibly be good to others if you are not good to you. Take those baby steps even if it is by the
second, hour or day at a time. With
TIME it does get easier to accept.
When you are ready, chose to live as your loved one would have wanted
you to do. Remember GROWW is here for
you, come lean on us in those really bad days, we understand. Do you
have any special memories of your time with GROWW that you would like to
share? I have
many wonderful memories of GROWW. My
first meeting of friends in MN. My
first gathering in the Poconos where I met Judy and
Jim and so many other lifetime friends for the first time. Also, when I think about a very good
friend coming to GROWW for the first time so sad and angry, and I watched her
become this wonderful lady who now wants to be like me when she grows up...lol. To see our
friends heal and become people, seeing hope instead of dispair
is a wonderful gift that has been given to me. I believe in GROWW and all it does for so
many people and that is why I stay. Message from the Director of Branches - Just what is GROWW about? GROWW is about
giving and offering support to those who have lost a loved one to
death. It was created because of one lady's idea. GROWW continues
because we realize that need for people to connect with others who are
experiencing grief. It is for this reason that many branches have been
created. Branches that have message boards and chatrooms
specific to many different needs. Most people who come to chat
have found Grief Recovery, this is our main chatroom
and you will see many many different types of
death. You may enter other chatrooms/message
boards either by using the drop down menu on the main page
or as I always like to use the Chat Index and Site Map.
Take some time to look at the different branches,
you just may be totally surprised at what you find. For example, did
you know we had the following branches: Angels of Addiction - for
parents who had children die due to substance abuse, Enabled Angels -
for those who have experienced a death and are dealing with the
emotional/alcohol/drug abuse, GROWW for Widows - those experiencing
the death of a spouse or significant other, Tender Angels - for our
younger widow/widowers under the age of 50, or Golden Angels -
for our widow/widowers over the age of 50, Guiding Angels - for those
who have had the death of a parent or grandparent, Guiding for Youth -
for children to the age of 18 you have experience a death of a loved one, Heavenly
Angels - for the death of a child, Kindred Angels - for those who
have experienced the death of a sibling/cousin/best friend, Reluctant
Angels - death due to suicide, Stormy Angels - on the very
difficult subject of rape/molestation and dealing with grief in the process, Unexpected
Angels - for those experiencing the very sudden death of a loved one, Timeless
Angels - for those who were the loving caregivers. Guest
Columnist –
Lisa Modjeski Interview With Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
by Lisa Modjeski Our
Psychology of Death and Dying class was granted an interview with Dr.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on I was
in total awe of Dr. Kubler-Ross because of all the
great work she has done in the field of psychology during her lifetime. She has accomplished so much and helped so
many people. When Ken wheeled her out
to meet us, I felt my nervousness at meeting her disappear. Although I was aware of the many strokes
she has suffered, I didn’t really expect the fragile woman that I saw. I realized that even though I held her up
as an icon she is still a normal person who is ill and limited by physical
ailments. We
were soon put at ease when Dr. Kubler-Ross told us
that we could ask her anything we wanted.
We also soon found out that we may ask anything we wanted but that did
not mean we would get an answer. Dr. Kubler-Ross is most famous for her five stages of dying
theory. The stages are denial, anger,
bargaining, depression and acceptance.
These stages have also been applied to the stages one goes through
when grieving the loss of a loved one.
When asked about these stages, Dr. Kubler-Ross
replied that they could be applied to ANY loss we encounter in our
lives. By this she meant our jobs, a
divorce, and anything that is significant to us. According to Dr. Kubler-Ross,
a loss is a loss. I asked
Dr. Kubler-Ross why those that have died talk or
appear to some and not to others. I
used the example that my brother in law and my mother in law say that my
husband has talked to them. I wondered
why he hadn’t come to me. She quickly asked me if I had tried talking
to him. When I said that I had talked
to him with no response back, she said maybe I was not allowing myself to be
open to hearing him. She said to talk to him as if he was here with me and he
would talk back to me. She told me
that I would be able to ask him anything and he would tell the truth because
she says that those that have passed no longer had the ability to lie. She says that she talks to her husband,
Manny and one of her sisters all the time among others. Her favorites are Gandhi and Mary. She also told us the story of her interview
with Oprah Winfrey when Oprah asked her would she give her a sign when she
got to the other side. Dr. Kubler-Ross told Oprah that she would give her a pinch on
the behind to let her know that she had made it to the after life. She also
told us about the butterflies. She
visited a concentration camp when she was young where she saw lots of
butterflies carved or drawn into the walls of the rooms. She believes that those that were there
knew that with death they went through a transformation like
butterflies.
Dr. Kubler-Ross is ready to die. She is angry that it is taking God so long
even though she acknowledges that it is His choice when to take her. She is frustrated because she is trapped in
a body that hinders her from being active.
As outspoken and harsh as she seems at times, she is one of the most
compassionate people I have ever met.
She really wants to ease the pain and suffering of those that are
dying and those that are left behind. I feel
I am very fortunate to have had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Kubler-Ross. She
is surrounded by controversy and in some cases thought of as being a crackpot
but she has made great strides in our hospice system and our understanding of
death. She was the first to address
the incidents of near death experiences and the stories that those that came
back told. She has brought the subject
of death out in the open. She has
forced us to face the fact of our own deaths and examine our feelings. I may not agree with everything she says
but I definitely admire the work she has done. As we
left that night, I went up to her and thanked her for letting us talk to
her. As I shook her hand, she told me
to make sure I talked to my husband every day until he answered me back. She told me to open up and listen for his
voice. She also told one of the
students that whatever we set out to do, we could accomplish as long as we
don’t stop trying. As we drove away, I
realized what a wonderful opportunity I had just had. I had talked to one of the most influential
women of our times. I had spoken to
someone who had made a difference in this world and I can only hope that when
she transitions to the afterlife that somehow she lets us know that she
finally made it. I hope she dances
through the galaxy with her beloved Manny. Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio I don’t know how many of you folks
put much credibility into home remedies.
A friend of mine sent me an e mail with some that I found quite
interesting, thought I’d share em with you. Drinking
two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately
without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers. I used to wonder what we did before
Upjohn and Pfizer came along. Again folks PLEASE! Use discretion if
you attempt any of em. See ya
next month. |
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GROWW, INC.© Judy Divers 501(c)(3) Non-Profit EIN: 59-3445877 |
Recipes From Members Easy Sunday
Afternoon Chicken Serves: 6 4 boneless,
skinless chicken breasts 1 10-ounce can
cream of chicken soup 1/2 can water Stuffing: 1 1/2
teaspoons curry powder 2 tablespoons
lemon juice 1 cup grated
cheddar cheese 1 cup
mayonnaise 1 8-ounce
package herb stuffing mix Preheat oven
to 350 degrees F. Lay chicken breasts
in bottom of 9 x 12-inch casserole dish.
Pour soup mixture over chicken.
Mix remaining ingredients into stuffing mix. Top with stuffing mix. Bake 1 hour. If stuffing gets too brown, cover loosely
with aluminum foil. If you would
like to submit a recipe for publication in this newsletter, please send your
submission to newsletter@groww.org To unsubscribe to this email click reply with
UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject Line. For
questions about this Newsletter or to submit an article, email newsletter@groww.org
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