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GROWW E-Mail Newsletter |
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Date |
Volume , Number |
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Editor ·
Pat Sirni Associate Editor ·
Margot Hill Newsletter Staff ·
Angela Dyer ·
Lori Petersen GROWW Officers ·
Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive
Director GROWW Staff ·
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Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager ·
Rachel Frank, Message Board Manager ·
Phil D’Ambrosio, Director
of Security |
Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio Another
month has arrived,
winter is coming to a close WE HOPE. It’s been a long one for many, that’s for
sure. We
still have March and April to send in those donations to get the chat rooms
prepaid for the next year, and remember anytime of year is a good time to
donate IF you can. Let’s
all try to remember that the change of seasons affects everyone
differently. Let’s try to be a little
more sensitive to each other. Since
it’s almost a new season, we are working on a GROWW MISSION STATEMENT, we have 2 that we are thinking about right now. If
you care to share your opinion about either, feel free to email me! If anyone
has experience with applying for grants or where to search for Grants, we
would love all the help we can get.
Please feel free to email me at AnneGD@groww.org, please put GROWW in the
subject. GROWW
is an organization of volunteers dedicated to serving all who are bereaved.
They give of their time and love for all who have suffered a loss and find
their way into one of the many chat rooms. Here the bereaved can talk through
the pain of their loss with those who have experienced the heartache of
grief. GROWW’s success is based on the anonymity of
the membership, the candid conversations of one's innermost pain spoken
freely, the silent words, the faceless faces, the confidentiality of identity
and the freedom to express oneself without shame or judgment. GROWW
(Grief Recovery Online for Widows and Widowers) is a web-based peer support
group whose purpose is to provide comfort and solace to people of all ages
who have lost loved ones. Through hosted chat rooms and monitored message
boards, the members of GROWW, themselves "survivors of grief",
provide a safe, confidential and caring environment where any person with
internet access, may, at any time, find listeners who will reflect the
normality, universality as well as the uniqueness of their grief process. Til next month. Anne Meet Your Host This
month's featured host is GRHostAZSharon. Can
you tell me about your loss? On
How
long have you been coming to GROWW and how long have you been a host? I
found GROWW about 6 weeks after Bill died and have been here almost every
night since. I was going crazy and
this website saved my sanity. I became
a host in March, 1999 ...... 1 1/2 yrs after finding GROWW. Tell
me about your family Bill
and I have one daughter, Linda age 41, and she is married with two
daughters. They live in I
have married again to GRHostPG, PhillipGene,
and he has two sons and a daughter-in-law. Do
you have hobbies? Hobbies,
hmmmmmmm. I used to sew a lot, don't have
time now. Phillip and I sing in the Detroit Metropolitian
Choir, and the big news for us this year is a
performance in Carnegie Hall over Memorial Day weekend. We will be
singing a new mass by John Rutter. It will be
the first public performance of this work. What
advice would you give to someone new to grief? My
favorite quote from the book "Tuesdays with Morrie"
by Mitch Albom. 'Death ends a life, not a
relationship' The wonderful memories are
tucked in your heart forever. When
I thought of my future without Bill I would have anxiety attacks.
Really scared me when I was driving. Finally I stopped thinking about
the future and started dealing with today only and the next step in front of
me. In time the rollercoaster ride smoothed out some and I was able to
function. I still get the bumps of the ride, but not as severe or as
often. Death of a love is something we NEVER 'get over',
we just learn to live with the pain. Is
there anything specific that has helped you to overcome your pain and move on
with your life? The
biggest thing I have learned since Bill's death is, the only constant in life
is change. Actually coming here to GROWW and having permission to cry
and grieve. I would come home from
work to an empty house and come here to GROWW. I had a room full of
wonderful people that would let me cry and have my pity party for about 1/2
hour. Then they would gently help me pick myself up, dust me off, and
give me strength to face the next step. Just one stinking lousey step at a time. I love and miss Bill, and I
always will. Message
from the Director of Branches - Well it's the middle of the month so it
must be time for our newsletter to appear. For March I want to announce
that our Timeless Chatroom has reopened. The
meeting time is Monday, 9 PM to 10 PM EST and your host is Lori. You
may access the room from the drop down menu or my favorite way is the Chat Index and Site Map.
You might say what is our Timeless Chatroom?
Well Timeless has a special place, because it is for those who were the
caregiver of someone with a long illness or for those facing a life
threatening illness. My husband was ill for two years before his
death and I was his caregiver so I can relate to this very special place we
are offering. I think sometimes we forget that WE need to be taken
care of. We are so busy with the needs of our loved one that somehow in
the mist of it all WE sort of get pushed aside. I know for me, I
realized early on in John's illness that I was grieving what we weren't going
to have in our future. Now that death has occurred, we need to discover
who we are again. It is time for US to grieve. Death is
never welcomed, but for some death is a relief. It is the end of
suffering for our loved one, but sometimes that relief brings with it
guilt. Timeless gives you an avenue to become you again, and to talk
with others who were caregivers, who can understand the love you had even
when the day was hard. So for those who where caregivers or are facing
a life threatening illness and need a place to chat for a while, I invite you
to join us on Monday evenings. Guest Columnist (Borrowed from Hospice By the Sea,
If you would like to submit an article for
publication in this newsletter, please send your submission to newsletter@groww.org Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio I Know
I usually write about stuff we can do to protect our homes, but I thought
this month I would write about protecting ourselves. I am talking about
identity theft. You work hard every day to make a
living and support yourself and/or your family. What happens, though, when
you find out that someone has used your name to get a credit card and has run
up thousands of dollars in charges that you are now going to have to convince
the credit card company that you are not responsible for? What if they opened
bank accounts in your name, committed crimes using your name, or worse?! Financial
fraud - This type of identity theft includes bank fraud, credit card fraud,
computer and telecommunications fraud, social program fraud, tax refund
fraud, mail fraud, and several more. In fact, a total of 25 types of
financial identity fraud are investigated by the United States Secret
Service. While financial identity theft is the most prevalent (of the
approximate 10,000 financial crime arrests that Secret Service agents made in
1997, 94 percent involved identity theft), it certainly isn't the only type.
Other types of identity theft, however, usually involve a financial element
as well -- typically to fund some sort of criminal enterprise. Criminal
activities - This type of identity fraud involves taking on someone else's identity
in order to commit a crime, enter a country, get special permits, hide one's
own identity, or commit acts of terrorism. These criminal activities can
include: Computer and cyber crimes, Organized crime, Drug trafficking, Alien
smuggling, Money laundering. How to Protect Yourself Protecting yourself from identity
theft takes proactive effort. You can't simply assume it's not going to
happen to you and go on about your life -- it can happen to anyone. It even
happens to celebrities. Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Robert De Niro and Martha Stewart have all had their identities
stolen. While you can't ever totally protect yourself from these thieves, you
can at least make yourself less attractive as a victim by doing what you can
to make it more difficult for them to access your information. Here are some
things you can do to protect yourself: DON'T give out your Social Security
number unless it is absolutely necessary. Many companies collect more
information than they really need. Make sure that it's something they have to
have and make sure they'll protect your privacy. DESTROY any unwanted credit card
offers. This means rip, shred, and burn, whatever you can do. These
pre-approved offers come almost daily. If you don't want the three major
credit bureaus to sell your name to these companies, you can "opt
out" by either writing to the three major credit bureaus or by calling
(888) 5OPTOUT (567-8688). This will remove your name, for two years, from
mailing and telemarketing lists that come from TransUnion,
Equifax, Experian, and INNOVIS. You can also write
to the Direct Marketing Association's mail preference service to have your
name removed from some mailing lists. DON'T put any other information
besides your name and address on your checks, and keep a close watch on your
checkbook both when you're writing checks and when it is lying around.
Someone can memorize your name, address and phone number during the short
time it takes you to write a check. SHRED
(cross-cut) any sensitive documents before you throw them into the trash.
This may seem like an extreme measure, but dumpster diving happens all the
time and turns up a lot more personal information than you may realize. DON'T carry your Social Security
card, passport, or birth certificate in your wallet or purse. Also, only
carry as many credit cards as are absolutely necessary. It has also been
suggested that you photocopy everything you carry in your wallet to make
canceling things easier in the event that your wallet is stolen. REVIEW your credit report every year
to make sure there haven't been any new credit cards or other accounts issued
(to someone other than you) and to make sure there haven't been inquiries by
people you haven't initiated business with. There are also services you can
subscribe to that will alert you to any changes in your credit file. NEVER give out personal information
on the phone to someone you don't know and who initiated the call. Often,
scam artists phone unsuspecting victims pretending to be their financial
services company and request information to be provided over the phone.
Usually, the story is to "update records" or sell a product. Get
their name, phone number and address, and then call them back at the number
you have on file or that is printed on the statements you receive. REVIEW your monthly credit card
statement each month to make sure there aren't any charges showing up that
aren't yours. Also, make sure you get a monthly statement. If the statement
is late, contact the credit card company. You never know when someone may
have turned in a change-of-address form so they could make a few more weeks
of purchases on your credit card without you noticing. DON'T mail bills or documents that
contain personal data (like tax forms or checks) from your personal mail box.
Take them directly to the post office or an official postal service mailbox.
It's too easy for someone to take mail out of your mailbox on the street.
From there, they can dip your checks in special chemicals to remove the ink and
then rewrite them to themselves! If
you're ever denied credit, FIND OUT
WHY, especially if you haven't reviewed your credit report lately. This
may be the first indication you get that someone has stolen your identity and
is racking up charges in your name. REACT QUICKLY if a creditor or merchant calls
you about charges you didn't make. This too may be the first notice you get
that someone has stolen your identity. Get as much information from them as
you can and investigate immediately. GUARD deposit slips as closely as you
do checks. Not only do they have your name, address and account number
printed on them, but they can also be used to withdraw money from your
account. All a thief has to do is write a bad check, deposit it into your
account and use the "less cash received" line to withdraw your
money. If It Happens To You What if you find out through a phone
call from a creditor, a review of your credit report, or even a visit from
the police, that your identity has been stolen. The first thing to do
is report the crime to the police and get a copy of your police report
or case number. Most credit card companies, banks, and others may ask you
for it in order to make sure a crime has actually occurred. You
should then immediately contact your credit card issuers, close your existing
accounts and get replacement cards with new account numbers. Make sure you
request that the old account reflect that it was "closed at consumer’s
request" for credit report purposes. It is also smart to follow up your
telephone conversation with letters to the credit card companies that
summarize your request in writing. Close
any accounts the thief has opened in your name. If you open new accounts
yourself, make sure you request that passwords be put on those accounts. As
with any password, make sure you use something that is not obvious to others.
Don't use your mother's maiden name, the last four digits of your social
security number, or anything else that would be obvious. Next,
call the fraud units of the three credit reporting bureaus and report the
theft of your credit cards and/or numbers. Ask that your accounts be flagged
with a "fraud alert."
This usually means that someone can't set up a new account in your name
without the creditor calling you at a phone number you specify. Verify with
the credit bureau representative you speak with that this will happen, and
provide them with the number at which you want to be reached. The down side
of this is that you won't be able to get "instant credit" at department
stores. This flag, also known as a "victim’s statement," is the
best way to prevent unauthorized accounts. The
bottom line is: Protect your social
security number at all costs. Don't give it out unless you have to, and don't
carry the card with you.
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