GROWW E-Mail Newsletter

15 March 2004

Circulation: 860

Volume 2, Number 5

Editor

·     Pat Sirni

Associate Editor

·     Margot Hill

Newsletter Staff

·     Angela Dyer

·     Lori Petersen

GROWW Officers

·     Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive Director

GROWW Staff

·     Libby Morningstar, Director of Branches

·     Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager

·     Rachel Frank, Message Board Manager

·     Phil D’Ambrosio, Director of Security

 

Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio

 

March is here; spring will be coming back shortly.  Spring, a time for rebirth, rebuilding, planting and watching things grow.  I hope we all see something that cheers us up and brightens out outlook on the season.  Sometimes just getting outside a little bit helps.  Changing the clocks and giving us more daytime hours always helps my mood.  Seeing the flowers bloom and hearing the birds makes us more alive.  Look inside yourself for something new, pat yourself on the back for making it this far and know that your loved one is looking down on you and is SO proud that you are making it.

 

At this time I would like to remind all of us why we are here.  We are here for the person who has recently suffered a loss.  This IS GROWW, this is what GROWW is about, and opening our hearts to others, sharing our thoughts and what has worked for some of us.  We all know none of us grieve the same way, the more we all share the more each and every one of  us takes away with us and learn from.  Some things we hear will work for us some won’t.  I do have to say I was very dismayed by hearing that some members said to a new comer to the room, that they didn’t want to hear their loss and that we should STOP hugging people hello and goodbye.  THAT will NEVER happen at GROWW, so many of us love to receive those hugs and Judy loved giving hugs and if we were lucky enough to get a real hug in person from her, WOW, there are no words for the real hugs, not from Judy nor from any other member of GROWW.  PLEASE remember why GROWW exists, it is to help people, if you are not in the mood to share and extend a warm hug or a hello, welcome, please go to the HomeGrowwn chat room for chit chat.  We are happy people become friends BUT that is NOT what GROWW is about.  GROWW does its’ job when people come to GROWW, learn how to live with their grief and decide to move on and away from GROWW.  Some of us stay at GROWW to help others, for us that is our mission.  NEW MEMBERS should always have the floor first and foremost; they are new and hurting the most.  YES, others hurt also, but remember when you were new, FUN, you’re NOT supposed to have fun, someone just DIED, what kind of chat room is this…. PLEASE keep that in mind.

IF anyone has a problem with this, please write me at AnneGD@groww.org

 

Message Boards

 

I am planning on looking into having our message boards passworded, this would mean BEFORE anyone can post on the message boards, they would have to submit some information along with a valid email address and IP, THIS is how other message boards that you have to sign in to join work it.  This way, there will be no fake names and all people are held accountable for the posts they make.

Due to recent events, I think this is the only way that we can make GROWW safe.  People who post and aren’t nice will be banned from posting messages on the message boards.

We will begin cleaning all of the message boards this weekend and posts will removed one month at a time with no more than 6 months worth of postings available.  We will be removing post on the 1st of every month from here on forward beginning April 1st 2004.

We will TRY to leave Roll Calls and The Balloon Release on the boards longer, but please remember you should copy these just in case something happens to the site.

 

Next month I will address how and when the new system will work.  I have wonderful GROWW members trying to work on Grants for funding for GROWW and at this point I don’t see where ANYONE with half a brain would be willing to help support a site that bashes each other and then accuses others.

 

Any questions feel free to write to staff@groww.org or boardofdirectors@groww.org

I feel like I’m watching Judy’s dream go down the tubes and I can’t sit back and watch this happen, some how, GROWW will be a caring and compassionate place.

 

 

Announcements

 

Now for a couple of announcements, I would like to welcome Marilyn as GROWW’s newest Host, Marilyn will be Hosting in GR and GFW.  Welcome Marilyn, thank you for joining our Host family.

 

As a side note: People PRETENDING to be Hosts will be asked to leave GROWW, Hosting is not a joke and is not taken lightly.  GROWW Hosts are nominated by existing Hosts for showing how they react in situations and handle problems.  Pretending to be one will be taken into consideration IF you are ever nominated.  All new Hosts asked to join us usually are past the one year anniversary.

 

Rainbow Angels

GROWW has recently added a new room called Rainbow Angels for gay and lesbian losses; you can find it on the main page of GROWW.  It will be meeting 2 nights a week from 7-9 pm on Wednesdays and Saturdays.  Thank you to GRHostBarb and GRHostRose for coming up with the idea and bringing it to life.  This room is passworded and you can get the password by writing to me or to Barb and Rose at yerxanewman2002@yahoo.com .  The link to the room is http://www.groww.org/Branches/rainbowangels.htm

 

Kindred Angels

Due do lack of participation, we have decided to discontinue chat meeting for this room until further notice.  3 visitors per week was a high, often times the Host sits there alone or maybe gets one visitor.  We will follow up with this again in a few months.  If anyone is interested in meeting in this room, please write me and we will see if we can get something started again, but we will need to have an idea of when it would work best.

 

Until next month Good Grief

 

AnneGD

 

 

Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar

 

I start this article by saying I believe in GROWW and all it has to offer.   There are many great support sites on the web, I just happen to call GROWW my home.  This article will be published on March 15, 2004 which just happens to be my husband John's 7th death anniversary.  As Anne stated so beautifully in her article, some of us are here because we see GROWW as a mission.  I happen to be one of those people.  When I first came to GROWW in 1998 this was the first chat site I had ever visited.  Guess what it is the only one I have ever visited and now you are just stuck with me.  See I remember that raw grief and while I did not choose this path in my life, I have chosen to give back to others, giving hope for the future.  There was a reason we all came to GROWW. 

 

I did have the privilege of meeting Judy and Jim and miss both very much.  Before Jim died he wanted more than anything to keep Judy's dream of GROWW alive.  Well folks he left it in our hands and we will do anything and everything to keep it going as GROWW was intended to be ran.  WE ARE FIRST friends helping friends.  WE ALL grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. 

 

GROWW was always meant to be an open site without restrictions on who posted on our message boards, but it seems that some PEOPLE forget why they came to GROWW in the first place or that someone may grieve differently than themself and are choosing to use our very special message boards to be mean and say unkind things to others on occasion.   This is unacceptable.  THERE ARE SO MANY wonderful postings and I get so much pleasure seeing friends helping friends that I just hope we can get back to that. 

 

As has been mentioned before, no one gets paid working with GROWW....not the volunteers or the staff.   It is done to give back so please I am asking that the nonsense needs to stop.  Honestly, if you think things are so bad at GROWW go find another place to vent your disapproval.  There are many here who actually like coming  and sharing. GROWW has given you a place with chat rooms, message boards, special rooms, email to heaven and the cost is higher than any dollar amount.  Just today we got an email from a member who thanked us for all the good done at GROWW.  We don't ask for this, but it is much nicer to hear that type of response.  We, the staff take our mission very seriously.  It is our dream that GROWW be here long after we are not.  Help us keep that dream alive. 

 

Reminder:  I have heard that many are coming to the Michigan Gathering in July, some are even booking their rooms, BUT we THE COMMITTEE are not hearing from you.  Please take a few minutes to let us know by just dropping us a note at mi2004gathering@yahoo.com.

 

Until next month,

Libby

Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio

 

Hi Guyz. Lots of folks ask how do we get through the grief process. I kind of think for a moment and usually respond by telling them we don’t have a rule book. Well, after 6+ years ya kind of accumulate lots of advice that when ya put it to paper sort of looks like at least like a brochure……

          Here are some of the ones I remember, the rest have been lost due to CRS;

  • Go gently -- take whatever time it needs, rather than giving yourself a deadline for when you should be "over it"
  • Expect and accept some reduction in your usual efficiency and consistency
  • Try to avoid taking on new responsibilities or making major life decisions for a time
  • Talk regularly about your grief and your memories with someone you trust
  • Accept help and support when offered
  • maintain healthy eating and sleeping patterns
  • Exercise moderately and regularly
  • Keep a journal
  • Read -- there are many helpful books on grief. If grief is understood it is easier to handle
  • Plan, and allow yourself to enjoy without guilt, some GOOD TIMES. The goal is balance, not martyrdom
  • Carry or wear a linking object -- a keepsake that symbolically reminds you of your loss
  • Tell those around you what helps you and what doesn't. Most people would like to help if they knew how
  • Take warm, leisurely baths
  • See a grief counselor
  • Get a massage regularly;
  • Set aside a specific private time daily to remember and experience whatever feelings arise with the memories;
  • Choose your entertainment carefully -- some movies, TV shows, or books can only over-intensify already strong feelings;
  • Join a support group -- there are hundreds of such groups and people have a wonderful capacity to help each other;
  • Plan for 'special days' such as holidays or anniversaries. Feelings can be particularly intense at these times
  • Pray
  • Take a yoga class
  • Connect on the Internet. There are many resources for people in grief, as well as opportunities to chat with fellow grievers;
  • Vent your anger in healthy ways, rather than holding it in. A brisk walk or a game of tennis can help, or any form of exercise
  • Speak to a member of the clergy
  • Do something to help someone else
  • Write down your lessons and share them with others……..

Everything I have listed has been shared with me as I am sharing with you. So if ya can, pass em on folks.

 

          ps. Come in to the widowed room on Monday or Tuesday at 7    and I’ll explain what crs is….se ya next month 

 

 

Book Nook

 

Kindnesses by Terry Walton – General thoughts and vignettes

 

Going through Hell without Help From Above (A True Crime Memoir) by James Elder – A man’s story of his Daughter’s disappearance.

 

A Winner (A Story of Ultimate Triumph) by Carol Gebert

 

Don’t Let Grief Steal Your Joy by Michele A. Tedder

Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul

 

Poetry Corner

 

'A' People

 

I pray for what has yet to be,

i pray for you, I pray for me.

As stars light up the darkness above,

I wrap myself in the comfort of your love.

 

For when the darkness sets it sail,

When I believe my life will fail.

I turn around and look to see,

Three angels traveling alongside me...

 

These angels comfort, and seem not ever tire,

Their wonderous ways, I know they are from up higher,

Sent to me from Heaven above,

Supporting me, giving freely their prayers and love.

 

These angels are the beauty in beautiful,

They are the candles in the dark.

My only wish for myself...

I grow to adopt one such angel heart.

 

So Thankyou angels for helping me stand tall,

And holding me up when I begin to fall,

You truly mean so very much to me,

One day I’ll make you proud…I promise, one day…you’ll see

 

Anonymous

 

GROWW, INC.© Judy Divers
11877 Douglas Rd - #102-PMB101 - Alpharetta GA 30005

501(c)(3) Non-Profit EIN: 59-3445877

 

Recipes From Members

 

Garlic-Clove Chicken:

 

1 1/2 - 2 pounds meaty chicken pieces (breasts, thighs, and drumsticks), skinned Nonstick cooking spray 25 cloves garlic (about 1/2 cup or 2 - 3 bulbs) 1/4 cup dry white wine 1/4 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth salt Ground red pepper

 

1.  Rinse chicken; pat dry with paper towels, Spray an unheated large skillet with nonstick coating.  Preheat over medium heat.  Add chicken and cook for 10 minutes, turning to brown evenly. 2.  Place chicken in a 2-quart square baking dish.  Add unpeeled garlic cloves. 3.  In a small bowl combine wine and chicken broth; pour over chicken.  Lightly sprinkle chicken with salt and ground red pepper. 4.  Bake, covered, in a 325 degree oven for 45 to 50 minutes or until chicken is tender and no longer pink.  Makes 4 servings

 

 

 

If you would like to submit a recipe or poem for publication in this newsletter, please send your submission to newsletter@groww.org 

 

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