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March 15,
2009 |
March Volume 4, Number
2 |
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Taking Care of
You
In these days of tough economic times,
I would like to share some thoughts with you. We are all facing difficulty
and questioning our financial security. Millions of people are losing
their jobs all over the world. I am grateful for all that I and try to
stay positive about it. For those who are new on this journey through
grief, it may be even more overwhelming then it normally would be. The key
is to ask for help from people you trust, especially when you are still
trying to get your bearings on all the new responsibilities that you may
now have to undertake alone. Try to look at the little things and
be thankful, it doesn’t have to be a big thing, you have your job, you
have your kids, your spouse depending on your
loss. A widowed member recently shared with
us some helpful hints that we have posted on the front of the webpage,
here is the link http://www.groww.org/groww-Thoughts.pdf.
We are not professionals but have been lucky enough to have a new member
who has put the “Thoughts to consider” booklet together and share with us.
This is some very useful information; we are not soliciting or telling
anyone what they should be doing. As we all know, our minds may not be
clear so every little bit of information we can gather and help to guide
us will be one less stress to ease our grief. We all need to try to stay positive
and sometimes it is very hard to do. I always try to remember there are
people out there who are much worse off then we are. Be it out of a job,
losing everything to a fire or another type of devastation, if we just try
to be thankful each day for one little thing, it can help us to get
through the day. We mention a lot in the chat rooms, to
just breathe, take it a day at a time, sometimes an hour, or a minute or
even just one breath at a time, whatever gets us through THIS day so we
can hope for a better tomorrow. I have a friend that lost her husband
several years ago and in the past 3 months she has now buried 2 children.
MY heart thinks about her and I pray for her everyday, she never complains
and hasn’t lost her faith, to me she is my hero, someone to look up to and
focus on when we think we are having a bad
day. We all have bad days, we always had
them before but at this time they just seem so much bigger because of the
vulnerable state we may be in. Read, pray, do whatever helps you each and
every day. The good days will become more
frequent, you may not believe it right now but life can be good again,
different but food. It takes time and in the long run time is our friend,
just try to keep that in the back of your
mind. May you all have a peaceful rest of
the month and remember Spring will be here soon, the birds will sing
louder, the flowers will bloom. The changing of seasons can be rough on
some, but try to think of it as a new beginning. Do something small, buy a
plant and watch it bloom, especially if you are like me and have a black
thumb, just like everything else, take things slowly but try to change
slowly as the season changes. Until next
month Good
grief
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Help GROWW
What if GROWW
earned a penny every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a
percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our cause?
Well, now it can! GoodSearch.com is
a new Yahoo-powered search engine that donates half its advertising
revenue, about a penny per search, to the charities its users designate.
Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results
from Yahoo, and watch the donations add up!
GoodShop.com is a
new online shopping mall which donates up to 37 percent of each purchase
to your favorite cause! Hundreds of great stores including Target, Gap,
Best Buy, ebay, Macy's and Barnes & Noble have teamed up with GoodShop
and every time you place an order, you’ll be supporting your favorite
cause. Just go to
www.goodsearch.com and be
sure to enter GROWW as the charity you want to support. And, be sure to
spread the word!
This is to make everyone aware of
another way to generate funding to keep the GROWW web site viable and
available for those that are trudging their way through the loss of a
loved one. As we approach the end of the year, we are also approaching
another annual event that just cannot be avoided; namely filing our
federal income tax returns. This year, H&R Block has initiated a
Non-Profit Referral Program to help organizations such as GROWW.
Here is how it works. For each new
client (anyone that did NOT file their prior year’s tax return through
H&R Block), H&R Block will send $25 to GROWW. All you have to do
is present the official certificate to the tax professional when you visit
any H&R Block office and file your tax return for 2006. All you need
to do is go to the HelpGROWW web page at http://www.groww.org/helpgroww/index.htm;
scroll down to the banner that looks like
this:
Click on this banner and a certificate
will open in a new window. Print the certificate, present it to the tax
professional at your local H&R Block office, and file your tax return.
You will be helping GROWW, get H&R Block guarantee of accuracy, and
perhaps get a larger refund. Thank you in
advance. What can GROWW do for
you?
For the most part, that is up to
you. GROWW can provide you a place to share, a place to heal, and a
place to help fill your lonely times. However, in order for you to
heal you must come to GROWW with an open mind and be willing to do the
hard work that healing demands of all of us. GROWW is and always has
been about friends helping friends. We are not an organization of
professionals. Although professionals may come to GROWW, they come as
individuals dealing with their own sense of loss and grief. We are an
organization of people who have suffered an unfathomable loss and are
either trying to make sense of their lives, or those who have been able to
move on, and are willing to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to
help others achieve some measure of peace and comfort.
We offer hope. We do not condone the
talk of suicide, helplessness or hopelessness. GROWW is all about
hope. Hope for today, and hope for tomorrow.
Our Hosts will divert talk of suicide,
cutting and other destructive behaviors, because this is not healthy for
the members themselves, and can have very depressing impact on the others
in the room. It may appear that we are not being supportive or being
unkind. But, please understand that the best thing we can do is
refer them to local professionals who have the ability to help
them. GROWW can provide you with a place to
share your good times and your bad times. A place to laugh, and yes, a
place to cry. Members can share what worked and what didn’t work for them
and hopefully you can apply their experiences it to your own grief and
healing process. I hope you find what you need to help
you heal here at GROWW, and maybe – like some us some lifetime
friendships. Most importantly, don’t forget to be good to You!
Rachel When I was first
widowed…
We tell the newly bereaved not to peer
too far into the future. I think that is a correct suggestion, and I think
it is also perfectly normal for newbies to do just that. The center of our
known universe has just been kicked away, and we search desperately
(sometimes too desperately, unfortunately) for answers that will give us
hope for the future but which are, of course unknowable. We never did know
what the future would hold, and we never will. Life enfolds as it
does. When I was first widowed, the enormity
of the situation was pretty overwhelming. I had tons of questions only
some of which had clear or obvious answers. Pay the bills? Yes. Will the
sun “come up” tomorrow? No doubt. Will I be able to “get through” this?
Probably. What will my now new future be like? Will I love again? Will I
be happy flying solo? No answers in sight. Will my friends abandon me? Some will,
some won’t (bless em) and new friends can be made. Many of us have found
lifetime friends in GROWW and in local support groups. Volunteer
activities, when you’re up to it, are good place to make friends with
similar interests. It is unrealistic and unreasonable to expect our
friends and family to continue the level of support they may have shown at
first. They have busy lives, too, just as we did and can have again if we
so choose. Try not to overwhelm your support system. And please don’t
expect them to always be the one to call. Friendship and communication go
both ways. Try to take an interest in their lives just as you hope they
will be interested in what’s going on with you. It’s not that they don’t
care; they’re busy, they may not have a clue as to how to act or what to
say around you. If your entire relationship consists of your weeping and
wailing about your life and loss........well, who wouldn’t get tired if it
after a while??? Please be VERY careful not to jump
into a new relationship too soon. And by “too soon” I mean before the main
focus in your life isn’t grieving your deceased loved one. It’s not fair
to the other party, it won’t really assuage the pain you’re feeling, and
we have seen some real disasters occur because people “jumped too
fast.” It’s also so that delaying any really
major changes (selling your house, for example) until you feel more
yourself is a wise idea - if circumstances
allow. Recovering from grief is a process,
not an event. Please try to be patient and gentle with yourself and with
the process. Barby In Memory of
UAHostMargie
Today, March 11th, PG and I
said goodbye to our friend Margie. She co-hosted Unexpected Angels for
several years with UAHostCat. Margie passed away of sudden heart attack on
March 7, 2009. Margie will be missed by many, our
thoughts and prayers are with her family. |
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