GROWW E-Mail Newsletter

November 15, 2002

Volume 1, Number 1

Editor Pat Sirni

 

GROWW Officers

·     Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive Director

·     Ted A. Modjeski Jr.  Deputy Director

GROWW Staff

·     Libby Morningstar, Director of Branches

·     Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager

·     Rachel Frank, Message Board Manager

·     Phil D’Ambrosio, Director of Security

 

Message from the Executive Director

 Anne D’Ambrosio

In Memoriam of JimK4

 

I first met Jim and Judy in CT in August of 1998.  It seems appropriate to share some memories of them now, since they have both moved on to meet all of our loved ones.  Jim was one of my best friends in the past couple of years since Judy died.  He used to come and visit us on his way up or back from NJ to visit his kids.  He has no idea how much so many of us will miss them.  They were one of the first 2 people I met when I found GROWW in March of 1998.  They were always in a room, Judy could be found in GR almost any time night and day, we were never quite sure when or if she ever slept.  Jim was always working in the background or in GFW.  When they were both in GFW you could feel the love and caring for everyone.  One of our favorite things to do was pick on Judy’s cooking and it was so easy to do, she had a great sense of humor about it.  We had so many fun times in there back then, but as soon as a “newbie” came in we got serious, Judy always had the right words and Jim always gave them a nickname after a few visits with us.  They both made everyone feel so welcomed, some of us never left.  Jim made everyone feel special.  At gatherings Judy was the quiet one who always had a smile and hug for everyone.  Jim was the friendly, outgoing one who was almost always a new widows first dance partner.  Jim loved to dance and have a good time and Judy loved watching him make all the widows feel special again.  Jim had been sober for a long time by then and we always made sure he had at least 1 pitcher of water on the table just for him, he needed it.  Once he took Cat’s kids to the movies so she could enjoy a dinner without being a mom.  He would give them change to go to the video arcade.  After Judy died, we wondered if Jim would go back to NJ to be close to his family, but he had gotten used to the life and weather in FL, so he stayed, he devoted himself to GROWW 24 hours a day 7 days a week with an occasional break to sneak in a round of golf that he got for free of course.  He tried to make it to every possible gathering to meet and greet people.  If you met Jim, you loved him, that’s just the way he was.  Phil lost one of his best pals when Jim died, they were the GROWW comedy team, they picked on each other every single day right up until Jim died.  They talked on the phone and Phil called him Shamus and Jim called Phil one of his many names he had for him, most were not used in public though LOL.  We will miss out best pal Jim, but we know he is in a better place with his Liz and Judy and all of our loved ones.  I’ll bet they’re still listening to his stories about us and they’re saying NO WAY he/she would NEVER do that!  We have GROWWn and I for one will miss him more than he will ever know.  I know Jim and Judy are watching down on us and sitting on our shoulders helping to guide us to keep GROWW a safe, wonderful site that they created.

WE LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS (((((((((((((( JIM & JUDY ))))))))))))))))))

Meet Your Host

GFWHostLimeyAngel

Barb, aka LimeyAngel,  has been with GROWW since Judy Divers founded it in 1997 and was present when the first chat room opened in January 1998..   Widowed suddenly in 1992, Barb initially met Judy in an AOL chat room and followed Judy and her dream of GROWW as it became a reality.  Barb remembers spending Thanksgivings with Judy in Florida.   Thoughts of how many people were alone and lonely during the holidays led Barb to plan and host several Thanksgiving Weekend Gatherings in Panama City

A native of England, Barb met and married her husband, "one of those smooth talking Yanks that my mother had warned me about".  He was on active duty with the U.S. Air Force, and they were transferred to Panama City, FL, where she currently resides.   She continues to be very active with GROWW, as Assistant Manager of GROWW for Widowed,  as a host in that room and in the  main Grief Recovery Room.  A cancer survivor, Barb also has volunteered with the American Cancer Society  and Reach to Recovery.

Barb feels that a strong network of family and friends has helped her to survive and to enjoy life once again.  She has many online friends and is pleased to have met many of them in person as well.  She recalls the early GROWW days, when the rooms were closed down at midnight.  Many people then moved over to the HomeGROWWn chatroom, and  there, in a more social atmosphere, many lasting friendships were formed. 

In her leisure time, Barb enjoys her dog,  Toto, a 4 year old half cairn, half yorkie who is "100% spoiled". She also spends a lot of time with her computer.  When not hosting, she loves to surf and to play games. 

For those who are just starting on their journey thru grief, Barb advises  that "they keep coming back, and look for the similarities and not the differences".   Those of us who are privileged to know Barb realize what a wonderful, caring person she is.  She hosts with empathy, and also manages to make us smile with her quick wit.  We, at GROWW, are blessed to have her as our friend.

Message from the Director of Branches  Libby Morningstar

Welcome to GROWW.  In this feature of our newsletter, I will try and keep you informed on any and all changes, updates, newsworthy stories that arise within our different branches at GROWW.  We recently reviewed all our chatroom schedules and updated where necessary.   We believe at GROWW what is foremost apparent is that our chatrooms are filled with love and understanding.  We've never professed to be professionals, but we do profess to be a friend who has known death and can relate to the struggles you face in your everyday life.  It is with this in mind, that I would like to start my first article talking about "Grief Recovery" (GR).  While all our specialty chatrooms are important, they are restricted by hours of use.  GR however is the chatroom that is open 24/7, yes 24 hours a day 7 days a week.   In GR you will see that all grief is accepted and discussed.  It is the first chatroom many find when first coming to GROWW.  Sometimes you become so comfortable there that you find no need to visit any other chatroom and then there are times when GR acts as a compliment to those times when your specialty chatroom is not open. As you have or are traveling through your grief, you are all too familiar with the wee hours of the early morning when sleep just will not happen.  PLEASE know you have a place.......  Sometimes you may just want to sit, so pull up a chair and visit.  Other times your heart is so full of anger, joy, sadness, happiness, and the list could go on and on that you just need a friendly ear to listen.   We hear it echoed so often that others who have not experienced the death of a loved one cannot relate to our grief. At GROWW we hear you, we listen, and we try to give some comfort in what you are experiencing.  Through our own life experiences, we can share what works for us and what doesn't work.  We try very hard to offer hope for the future.  Early in grief it is so very hard to hear that with TIME things can get better, but they can...............SO in those times when you can't quite see that, come lean on GROWW.  We will be here for you with that friendly ear to listen...I promise.  Libby

 

GROWW, INC.© Judy Divers
11877 Douglas Rd - #102-PMB101 - Alpharetta GA 30005

501(c)(3) Non-Profit EIN: 59-3445877

 

Guest Columnist – Mary Rose

Are we not all blessed to have such a wonderful place as GROWW to help us through this most difficult path of Grief we have all been set upon?

 

It is wonderful to have a safe place to go – somewhere that there are those who do indeed understand the intense pain we face when we loose someone we love to death.  Comfort lies within in the walls of GROWW as others there assure us that we are not loosing our minds, but merely experiencing Grief.

 

Many times through Grief, we experience changes in our emotional or physical selves.  Whilst many things we experience, such as insomnia or depression are normal occurrences for a brief amount of time, everyone should seek the advise of their own medical professionals for these subjects.  After all, Your Health IS your own responsibility. 

 

The main purpose of our rooms is to focus on GRIEF RECOVERY, just as our name reads, GRIEF RECOVERY (founded by) WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS.  Whilst our goal is to assist all through the grief process, we are not professionals, but merely other grieving souls who have been on this path of Grief Recovery for some time.  No one, whether Staff, Host or Member is qualified to diagnose a mental/physical problem or disease; therefore, we would ask our members to refrain from constant discussion on such issues and allow our rooms to focus on the issue at hand, Grief Recovery. Furthermore, the talk of medications is a subject that need not be discussed in our rooms as well.

 

If you are in need of sites to obtain support for a specific illness you can do an Internet search to find such sites.  That being said, we at GROWW will continually advise all who are experiencing mental and physical difficulties to seek advise of their medical professional and deter that conversation from overtaking the room.  Your Health IS Your Own Responsibility.

 

Again, we ask that our members please help us in maintaining the focus of our rooms to Grief Recovery.  After all, that is our purpose here – to walk this road of Grief together and help each other through those most difficult moments. 

 

May you all find Peace and Comfort within the Walls of GROWW, and may you know that the Staff and Hosts will do all that we can to maintain that safety.

 

With Love,

 

GRHostMaryRose

SOSHostMaryRose

 

Featured Webpage

Our featured webpage this month is our site map.  The site map is located at http://www.groww.org/sitemap.htm  The page is laid out in an outline form.  All of the branches have their associated pages such as, message boards, chatrooms, etc. listed in the same grouping.  This page is very helpful in navigating the site.  I have this page set as my home page when I log onto the internet.  I can access the pages I need quickly.  I hope you will take some time to get familiar with our site map and that it will assist you in finding more of the resources we have to offer.

Phil’s Fix It Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio

            With winter here or approaching maybe I can offer some advice to you folks about keeping warm in the coming months. No matter what kind of system you use, whether its oil, gas, electric wood stove fireplace or even kerosene make sure they are in good operating condition and SAFE! 

            If you have any kind of air filters in the system make sure they are replaced or cleaned. With your furnace in constant use during the winter months we don’t get to open the windows as much as we want and if your filters are clogged and dirty it can put extra stress on the system. I use pleated filters. The pleats increase the surface area and enables the filter to catch more lint, dust, pollen, and mildew, some of them catch up to 95% of everything that passes through them. The extra bonus about using pleated filters is it takes three times longer to become saturated with dust and dirt, so instead of changing them every 30 days you only need to change them every 90 days. These filters may even help any folks who have respiratory problems.

            When I lived on Long Island we had an oil fired system. I had a service contract with the company that sold me the oil. It’s important that you have them come in before the start of the heating system and do preventive maintenance. This includes changing the oil filter, cleaning or replacing the fuel nozzle, inspecting any pumps or motors, checking for leaks etc., ask your company for a detailed inspection sheet. Ensure that any water lines that have possible exposure to the cold are insulated. The last thing you need is a pipe bursting in the attic, crawl space or worse yet in a wall.

            With utility costs rising all the time lots of folk use portable devices such as kerosene heaters or electric plug in units. PLEASE be careful if you use them in your house. If you need to buy an electric plug in make sure its got a Underwriters Label (UL) on it and has safeguards such as a safety tip switch that turns the unit off in case of accidental tipping.

            Kerosene heaters can be a potential hazard if used improperly. Make sure you use 1 K grade kerosene. Always store kerosene in a separate container intended for kerosene, NEVER in a can that has contained gasoline. Even small amounts of gasoline or other volatile fuels or solvents mixed with kerosene can substantially increase the risk of fire or explosion. Rule of thumb is RED container for gas and BLUE container for kerosene. If you purchase at the pump make sure it’s the kerosene pump, most service stations have separate islands for kerosene. 1 K kerosene should be purchased from a dealer who can certify that it is 1 K!

Grades other than 1K can lead to the release of more pollutants in your home, posing a possible health risk. Different grades of kerosene look the same so be careful. Please fill the tank outdoors and make sure the unit is cool and don’t overfill allow for expansion. Always make sure you have a few windows open, these units produce certain pollutants such as carbon monoxide & nitrogen dioxide. Exposure to low levels of these pollutants may be harmful to individuals with chronic respiratory or circulatory health problems. Follow the cleaning and maintenance procedures recommended by the manufacturer.

            Fireplaces are pretty to look at and relaxing but there are still some responsibilities that need to be addressed. You should have a screen or preferably a Glass door in front to keep hot embers from jumping onto the floor. Doors help keep the heat from going up the chimney. Speaking of which, you should make sure the damper is in good operating condition and the chimney open is not plugged or clogged. Burned seasoned wood if you can, if the wood isn’t seasoned you can add to the plugging of your chimney by creating creosote.

            Well I hope I was able to give you folks a little info to stay warm during the coming months, see ya next month……………….

 HelpGROWW

The funding of GROWW is a subject not discussed in our chatrooms.  This is by design.  Our primary purpose is to help each other down the path of grief.  This venue will give us the forum to provide some of the funding information.  There are no dues or fees to be a member of GROWW.  Our chatrooms are available to all who have suffered a loss.  There are no charges for any of the resources we provide.  Even though we have an unpaid Staff and all of the work is done by volunteers, there are expenses incurred running a site such as ours.  There is a monthly fee to host our domain to keep our site on the internet.  There is also a fee for the chatrooms.  All of our funding comes in the form of donations.  These donations come in many forms.  HelpGROWW is our fundraising site.  It is located at http://www.helpgroww.com/ there is a link to the HelpGROWW site on each of our pages.  We have agreements with merchants listed on the  HelpGROWW site who pay GROWW a referral fee on purchases made by people from our site who visit their site.  Please take some time to visit HelpGROWW and see what we have to offer. We also have items made just for GROWW.  Mouse pads, T-Shirts, coffee mugs, and our newest item the GROWW Christmas ornament all with the GROWW logo are available for purchase.  You can see these items by clicking on the gifts button at the top of the helpgroww page.    

Host News

Congratulations to Lowell Hendrix (GFWHostLowell) on his upcoming wedding  on 11/29/02.  We wish Lowell and Geraldine all the happiness they so richly deserve.

 

To unsubscribe to this email click reply with UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject Line.  For questions about this Newsletter or to submit an article, email newsletter@groww.org

 

Ted A. Modjeski Jr.
Deputy Director
GROWW.org
Grief Recovery for all Bereaved
http://www.groww.org/ 
a 501 (c)(3) Organization
GROWW, INC.© Judy Divers
11877 Douglas Rd
#102-PMB101
Alpharetta GA 30005