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Editor
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· Pat Sirni
Associate Editor
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· Angela Dyer
Newsletter Staff
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· Lori
Petersen
GROWW Officers
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· Anne
D’Ambrosio, Executive Director
GROWW Staff
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· Libby
Morningstar, Director of Branches
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· Pat Sirni,
Grief Recovery Room Manager
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· Rachel
Frank, WebMistress
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· Phil
D’Ambrosio, Director of Security
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Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio
I can’t believe October is here again already. Wasn’t it just
June? - How time flies. It’s just like grief: sometimes it feels
like yesterday, sometimes it feels like it was a lifetime ago.
Fall is a pretty tough time for lots of people, the seasons changing,
the clocks turning back. It stinks going to work in the dark and
coming home in the dark. I know for me once the time change happens,
I’ll be in my pj’s by 7:00. Fall means the leaves will change
then fall off the trees. The animals seem to be louder and closer
and some of them make such a pretty sound. Is it because they
come closer, or is it because without all the leaves on the trees
we can just hear them more clearly? I guess only we can really
decide that. It goes the same for our grief; only we can decide
to move forward and grieve completely so we can live on in memory
of our loved ones.
The anticipation of Holidays coming up really starts to get to
people. When we were all newly married and had little ones, who
thought Halloween could be such a tough time of year? But it sure
can. It was magical in my house, lots of pumpkins, lots of decorations,
and then the bottom falls out of everything we knew and loved
and enjoyed. I think for most people this is the beginning of
the roughest season for all. Let’s all try to remember this is
truly hard for those who have recently joined us on this journey
through grief. And, let try to remember to be sensitive to other
people’s feelings.
We have such a variety of people at GROWW who find us, it is
often hard to find quite where you fit in. If you have had a loss
that we have a room specific for; we encourage you to visit those
rooms, if the meeting times work with your schedule. You will
often find that certain things trigger people differently, and
there are times the general room may or may not have someone there
who has been through what you have been through. If you need to
talk about something and the room is not on any particular topic,
jump in and say I need to talk or share or ask something. We know
it’s hard, but this is a chat room. We can’t see you sitting there
with tears in your eyes. We can help. I truly believe that, but
it is up to each of us to help ourselves also. There is no way
any of us can make it better for you: that is up to you. It can
be better if you want it to. The pain never goes away completely,
but in time it doesn’t overshadow your life as it does in the
early stages of grief.
Until next month, Good Grief
AnneGD
Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar
Last month I said I would give you GROWW in a nutshell. GROWW
is about giving and offering support to those who have lost a
loved one to death. It was created through one lady's idea. GROWW
offers a positive environment for those grieving. Most on their
first visit to chat, find our main room called Grief Recovery.
As our main chat room, you will see many different types of deaths
in here. You may enter other chat rooms/message boards either
by using the drop down menu on the main page, or as I always like
to: use the Chat Index and Site Map. Take some time to look at
the different branches; you just may be totally surprised at what
you find. For example, did you know we have the following branches:
Angels of Addiction - for parents who had children die due to
substance abuse; Enabled Angels - for those who have experienced
a death and are dealing with the emotional/alcohol/drug abuse;
GROWW for Widows - those experiencing the death of a spouse or
significant other; Tender Angels - for our younger widow/widowers
under the age of 50; or Golden Angels - for our widow/widowers
over the age of 50; Guiding Angels - for those who have had the
death of a parent or grandparent; Guiding for Youth - for children
to the age of 18 you have experience a death of a loved one; Heavenly
Angels - for the death of a child, Kindred Angels - This room
is not open for chat, but you may post. It is for those who have
experienced the death of a sibling/cousin/best friend; Reluctant
Angels - death due to suicide; Rainbow Angels - a safe and caring
place of support for gays and lesbians who have lost their life
partner or other family members; Stormy Angels - on the very difficult
subject of rape/molestation and dealing with grief in the process;
Unexpected Angels - for those experiencing the very sudden death
of a loved one; Timeless Angels - This room is not open for chat,
but you may post. It is for those who were the loving caregivers.
Take the time to explore GROWW. I think you will find as many
who have come before you, that we have a way of becoming an addiction,
but a good one. GROWW offers a wonderful resource section; as
well as, in "HelpGROWW" for those who shop online, a
great connection that in turn helps GROWW by providing necessary
funding to continue into the future. Check us OUT!
Until next month be good to YOU.
Libby
Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio
Hi Guyz, I’d like to share a story with you about a good friend
and former director of GROWW: Jim Kennedy aka JimK4. This month
will be 2 years since Jim left us. Now, a little background for
those of you who didn’t know the relationship between Jim and
I. We would always try to out do each other when it came to practical
jokes. The best one I ever put over on him was his own doing!!
Lemme explain…
About 6 years ago when Jim was doing consulting work he had
a show in Atlanta, now those of you who know me nothing gave me
greater joy then setting my good pal Jim up. This time though
there was a bonus that I couldn’t even see coming.
Whenever Jim threatened to come to town I told him he had an
open invite with me to attend an establishment in Atlanta known
as The Gold club. Now I had been living in Atlanta since 1989,
but if I were on the other end of this invite I would have known
this was not a place that The Knights of Columbus would have their
pancake breakfast.
Well when my spirited friend gets to town he calls me and uses
more expletives in a 10-minute phone call than an entire episode
of The Sopranos. It seems on his flight from Florida he sits next
to a Southern Belle born and bred in Georgia.
Jim starts to tell this lady about GROWW and all the wonderful
folks who give their time and talents and the good things we do
helping folks through the grief process. The lady seems impressed
with Jim, and being the salesman that he is was ready to solicit
a donation when he mentions how “My good buddy Phil is taking
me to one of your finer eateries in town called the Gold Club”.
Well, from that moment on he noticed an icy curtain had formed
between them. The conversation had withered to nods and painted
smiles, and Jim had no idea why. When she explained to Jim what
the Gold club really was he told me he wished he were sitting
in an ejection seat.
Oh, by the way The Gold Club was a National News story for months
about big time sports guyz frequenting this Adult club which had
mob connections and was eventually closed down, Hmmmm I could
have sworn I mentioned that in our conversation, oh well must
been a case of selective amnesia. See ya next month…..
Poetry Corner
Momma why? By Crystal Ann Camery
Momma are you there? Mom, why won't you answer me? Where did
you go, I can't see you. Are you in heaven? I feel so empty mommy,
I can't go on without you. Why did God have to take you away from
me? Why did you leave me all alone? I need you, momma by my side;
I can't do this myself. I need you to tell me what do next with
my life. Every girl needs her mother. Now I no longer have one
to talk to or to do things with or even just to say," I Love
You Mom". I need you to hold me in your arms, mom. I need
to hear you tell me you still love me and that you are still with
me night and day: when I'am sleeping and when I am awake.
When you left me in this world alone, I felt like something
hit me in the stomach really hard. Mom, I can't breathe, I feel
like I am dieing without you. Is it wrong mom to feel like I want
to die to? Mom, you are all I think about all day long, I even
dream of you. Did I do something wrong to deserve such pain? Mom,
is God mad at me? If so tell him I am so sorry, I need you mom.
Momma are you there? Mom, why won't you answer me? MOMMY, where
did you go, Mom I love you.
Host Interview by Pat Sirni
GRHostDebbieT
Debbie has been a host for about 2 years. She found Groww while
surfing the net, looking for a place to help her deal with the
loss of her brother. She lost Butch to a terminal lung disease
in January 2001. He was her best friend and only sibling. She
says that over time her family has learned to deal with their
loss and to go about their everyday lives. “It’s been a long road,
but somehow we made it”.
Debbie lives in Illinois with her husband Mike , her sons, ages
9 and 11, their dog, Chloe and a ferret named Chomper. Her boys
miss their uncle very much and speak of him often. They love baseball
and are very good students. Her oldest says he wants to become
scientist and invent a special potion to bring people back to
life. The youngest wants to be either a professional baseball
player or a veterinarian.
Family is very important to Debbie. She spends her time off from
her job at a credit union with her family. She says that the strength
of her family ties have been an important part of her healing
process. She also feels that the many friends she has made at
Groww have been an integral part of her recovery.
Like so many, Debbie initially found the chat room to be a very
scary place. She had never participated in chat before. “After
coming to Groww, I learned that not all the people you meet in
these rooms are nut cases, out to hurt someone like I had thought
once before. In fact, they become very fast friends and family.”
I asked Debbie what her advice to someone just starting to walk
this path of grief would be. She replied “Give yourself a lot
of time. You will never be that same person you once were. Talking
is the best advice I can give. Talk to a lot of people who understand
where you are coming from.”
Groww is grateful to have Deb as a host.
If you would like to submit a recipe or poem for publication in
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