< GROWW E-Mail Newsletter

 

GROWW E-Mail Newsletter

15 October 2005

Circulation: 1602

Volume 3, Number 12

Editor

·     ·     Pat Sirni

Associate Editor

·     ·     Angela Dyer

Newsletter Staff

·     ·     Lori Petersen

GROWW Officers

·     ·     Anne D’Ambrosio, Executive Director

GROWW Staff

·     ·     Libby Morningstar, Director of Branches

·     ·     Pat Sirni, Grief Recovery Room Manager

·     ·     Rachel Frank, WebMistress

·     ·     Phil D’Ambrosio, Director of Security

 

Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio

October is here, summer is over for almost everyone, unless you don’t live in the U.S.; and we do have lots of friends from all over the world.

I would like to share with you a couple of things.  First, one of our Hosts GRHostBettyW died in August, we didn’t know until this weekend.  Please keep her family in your prayers.  Betty was a wonderful asset to GROWW and gave many hours to hosting in GR.

I would like to thank every one who helped Bobbi after evacuating from New Orleans.   She has written a personal message to all in this newsletter.

I would also like to ask if anyone can help.  We have another GROWW member who received lots of damage from Hurricane Rita.  Her name is Tracy and her nick is ac.  She has been frequenting the widowed room for a few years.  She is a single mom with 4 kids.  If any of you can help her out, she lives near a Super Walmart, which is where she does all her shopping.  She had been going to college, but hasn’t been able to attend.  Her power was out for about 2 weeks and during this time, her beloved sister who had been suffering from cancer lost her battle.  Tracy was not able to attend her sister’s funeral.  If anyone can send some cards or help her out please send it to the GROWW snail mail address or email me at annegd@groww.org for additional information.

I am so very proud of every one who comes to GROWW.  We all share our pain; and we share our good times and help out friends whenever we can.

Until next month, Good Grief,

AnneGD

Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar

 

Happy October!!  With the hustle and bustle of each day/week we need to take the time to just slow down a bit.  As individuals we can get so wrapped up in our busy life we just don't have time to take care of the ME.  Grief is so hard on our bodies that I am giving you permission to do just that - take time for you.  What I have learned in grief is that I cannot possibly help someone else if I am not taking care of me.  This is all part of the healing process.  Welcome to GROWW - here you can begin that healing process.  You have others who understand your pain, your sorrow.  YES it is different, their loss is different, but the common bond is there.  SOOOOOOO when you need that timeout for YOU come sit with us.  Come share your feelings.  Come offer support.   

 

GROWW is growing.......we are pleased to announce the reopening of our Widows 2 room (moving on).  We've had requests to reopen the room for those who are dealing with their grief and having questions as to what is next in their life.  There are so many questions/concerns on how to start life over now that we are one.   It is a great place to share/laugh/offer advice.  If you feel you are reaching this point in your life or you just want to see if it is for you please stop by on Wednesday evenings from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm EST.  For those active in our Widows Room you will recognize our host who is Tigger (Amy).  We believe her to be the perfect host for this room.  Amy has a natural ability to keep a conversation going and asking the hard questions and she really cares. 

 

Until next month.....do something for you.....I am going to ask you....LOL

Libby

Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio

 

No article this month.

“Fuhgeddaboutit”

Guest Column submitted by Bobbi Park:

An open letter of thanks to my extended GROWW family:

 

First of all, before I forget, I'd like to thank AnneGD, Director of GROWW, for caring enough to relay my story to you all, following my evacuation from Katrina in New Orleans.  She and I became good friends early on, back in '02, when my Rick died; and I found GROWW.   This friendship has flourished and I owe her and hubby, Phil so much.  My thanks to you both, for your love, caring and just always "being there."  Your dedication is not known by many...but, I sure do.

 

Never have I seen such an overwhelming outpouring of compassion, caring, and support since her article appeared in last month’s newsletter, about my situation. You ALL are wonderful people, each and every one.  The supportive and "go get 'em" emails, cards, letters and phone calls....they were just what I needed, to kick my "survivor skills" into motion!   From the many hosts, to people I've had the honor of meeting, thru my two "gatherings" in New Orleans to complete strangers....unbelievable...  You ALL have made this transition possible.   The monumental and phenomenal GIFTS....a new bed w/furniture, a new washer/dryer, a new entertainment center, a fancy phone, new microwave, coffeemaker and toaster....a new set of pots and pans...the gifts cards for the local grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, and Sears stores....the wonderful cash donations, to keep me self-sufficient...AND....the MIND-BOGGLING gift of a safe, dependable CAR!  My head is STILL spinning.   I cannot express enough words, the feelings that I have felt.  My heartfelt gratitude and THANKS to each and every one of you, who made me feel as comfortable and secure, given the set of circumstances that faced me.  I may have to struggle, at times, until my house sells, but I couldn't have wished for a better place to "start over".

 

But, had it not been for Karen Curry's insistence (forcible, at times!! hahaha) on me actually leaving New Orleans, this wouldn't have been possible.   She urged me on, giving me refuge, at her home, without a second thought.   Then, our own Widowed Chatroom Host Cece, moved OUT of her apartment, for me to have the personal space to collect my thoughts and attempt to put my life back in order.  This ALL was made possible by our other Host Limey Angel (Barb) and her roommate, Shirley, who opened their home to Cece, while I was here.  So, you see, this WAS an all-out "family" effort...the likes I've NEVER seen, having had no family within 900 miles for years!  Unbelievable, I tell you.  These particular women have guided me, welcomed me and were instrumental in my decision to relocate, here, in Panama City, Fl., for good.  And, the personal love and concern from my two "best-est" widder buddies Melba C and Barbara F (Ganny) got me through MANY a rough spot, since Aug. 28th, when I fled New Orleans.

 

Once my panic and anxiety started to ease up, I began to look around...this is a beautiful city...the people are SO very friendly and helpful.  Everything is so close and convenient.  I began to think, "Why NOT make this my new home?"  I inquired at this very apartment complex about any openings...they just happened to have one available...I signed up, then and there.  I did some research (online and in the phone book) and found a facility (sheltered workshop for mentally retarded adults)...inquired about any position that might be available...to MY surprise, they HAD ONE!   I went for an interview the next day and I was hired on the spot!   I started my new job Oct. 3rd and I couldn't be happier!   Oh, did I mention??....hahaha...the job is only 1.2 miles from my apartment...!!  How great is that???

 

So, I went back to New Orleans, packed up what I deemed salvageable from my house, put it up for sale and MOVED...lock, stock & barrel. The one "miracle" story being that I found my one kitty, "Skeeter" ALIVE and well, in the house, albeit scared to death (she had spooked on me and hid...I had secured my other precious "Baby" and she made the trip with me) so I have both my darlin' pets with me, my family is intact!!  I can't tell you all the last time, I've felt this comfortable, safe and secure...even since Rick died, a little over 3 yrs ago.  This is definitely a new chapter in my life...I'll turn the pages on the past and make new memories from my new location, now.   

 

But, this all would NOT have happened, had it not been for the love of GROWW!  I'm forever indebted and grateful to ALL of you.  You don't know the magnitude of the difference you made, in my life.  I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.   We all came to GROWW following the worst thing that could happen to any of us...the death of a loved one...we reach out, we support, and we let others find their way.   This is just another example of how broad these (((( hugs )))) really are.

 

Many thanks to each and every one...God bless you ALL...

 

Bobbi Park

Poetry by Members (submitted by Marla):

THE   CHAIR

By Marla

Many years from today, an irresistible chair sat in my room

By a window filled with glowing warmth in the  afternoon.

Beaming with rays that could even touch my baby  toes.

On those days, I relished my sunshine as I rocked in my Chair, feeling contentment at where I was right then.

Yeah……..the rocker, the best kind to call your own.

It also reminded me of the times I rocked my little ones

Off to slumber and I, too, drifted off to the gentle rocking

Into mellow land to ease the day’s discarded leftovers.

So soft, warm but awfully injured in places from much use

But that was fine for I had given the chair much use and

The chair, in return, comforted me and was always there.

And it had given me pleasurable comfort, peace with my

Thoughts and a very cozy blanket for the cold nights.

Wrap up, be warm, be constant……..dream, gaze at the

Moon’s light streaming through that window

Beckoning my music, my dreams, my goals, my love.

Looking down at me and I wonder how and why

The moon came to me through the window; sometimes it

Was not only white; I’d seen light, fluffy clouds pass by it.

Sometimes it had a peachy glow, sometimes, an eerie haze covered it and once in a while,

As this nickel sized moon looked most of the time,

At dusk, in the clear, way low in the sky, it was enormous

Still don’t  know why that happens. 

To show it’s magnificent size?

Thoughts of other disturbing wonders quickly replace my

Relaxing cuddles with a stir.

The time on my kitty clock reads 4:30 a.m.; I’m puzzled.

And I am still wrapped up……and alone.

Not a nice awakening at the hour of the morning………..

Alone in my chair.

The comfy chair has held me close this night-------

And memories come creeping back that this is not

The first sleep I’ve spent in this chair, cuddling myself.

But they fade for now.  I’m too groggy for thoughts.

 

At times, if I awaken at a time when the moon has slipped

By me, I casually go and warm myself in bed where I had 

spent many more nights there than in my chair.

I’d be cuddled and spooned and body heat to warm me…..

Better than an old ragged blanket-----but always there for me.

But not this lonely night.

No, this of several nights before, I’m in my chilly bed…alone.

For half the slow moving minutes on the clock for the night.

I awaken several times, whenever I vaguely hear a car door close.

Is it him?

On these doubting nights, nights that put lots of unpleasant

Thoughts running through my mind

I sleep ever so lightly, waiting in fake sleep anticipation.

Unfortunately, the 4:30 closing of the door is my other half.

One who had been warm, giggling, kissing and hugging me

A long time ago.

We had funny, laughing times in that bed……..and sex.

Why say unfortunately?

I know, 99% sure how his night was spent……..sometimes,

While I was in my chair, rocking rhythmically so alone,

Imagining the whys, so sadly.

He would keep me warm till dreamland and relaxation 

Put the day’s happenings into a jar marked “yesterday.”

Happy, joyous, funny days long ago………..

And they’re missed more than my chair.

But these late nights as he crashes into bed and I happen to

Be on my side, there’s no cuddling, no kiss, no hug.

Sometimes, maybe, he’d manage a “night, baby.”

Very rarely, though.

I believe…I know why these nights distract, anger me, sadden

Me and I cry because I know the next day, if I ask, he’ll lie

To me and sometimes becomes a little “belligerent”…..more like

Guilt…..then again, perhaps no guilt.

I lie there and cry.

From the other side, just snores of smelly beer, booze, cigarettes

I head for the sofa, sometimes my comforting chair instead.

Was it I who had not met what he wanted?

Maybe he should have asked first.

I don’t know if I’ll ever comprehend the nights

When my chair rocked me off to slumber.

The chair has been replaced.

And he has left me and this world forever…..

Perchance gazing down from that shiny, bright ‘ole moon.

In my dreams…….                                                                                                                                                                                       

Host Interview by Pat Sirni – (PatS): GRHostNanE

Will you please tell us whom you have lost? 

On April 2, 2003, my husband of 33 years, George, died of  lung cancer.  My dad died in 1996, friend Danny Lewin in 911 attack, and all my aunt and uncles - in laws and grandparents before that.

 

Where do you live?  Are you originally from there?

I live in a suburb of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, in the same house for 35 years.  Pittsburgh is where I was born, but Dad took us to Chicago when I was 10, then to Phoenix when I was 14.  I went to high school in Phoenix

Do you have family living with you or nearby?

My only (unmarried) son lives in the DC area.  Mom is 92 and in the Veterans Nursing Home just across the river from me.  She and Dad met during WWII and both served in the Navy.  My bachelor brother lives in another suburb of Pittsburgh, and my sister and her husband and 10 dogs live in the Colorado Rocky Mountains.

Are you employed outside the home?  If so, what is it that you do? 

I quit work when my husband became ill, so I consider myself retired.   I worked as a library clerk, retail sales, receptionist, assembly line, senior citizen lunch program coordinator, tested foreign speaking people for English language classes, church, hospital and school volunteer, nursing home volunteer, and various volunteer community activities including flood relief in 2004.  

Do you have any hobbies?

Genealogy used to be my most time consuming hobby - my files go back to 1600 and over 9000 names so far.  Grandad was the  youngest of 17 and grandma was one of 14.   I garden a bit, read a bit, do plastic canvas flags for the nursing home, but am only an arm chair sports participant, and I do a bit of photography. 

When did you find Groww?  How long have you been hosting, and what rooms do you host? 

I found Groww about 4 months after my husband died, and very quickly became addicted to it.  After several weeks with Marilyn as my mentor, on Tuesday,

February 15, 2005, I hosted solo in Grief Recovery for the first time.  Friday nights at 10 pm I cohost with Cece in the widowed room.    

What advice would you give to those who are new to Groww? 

Give yourself time - and I absolutely HATED to hear that.  Come to Groww every day or evening as you are able to.  Get to know yourself and let those who have already been there help you sort out your feelings and thoughts.  There is no magic formula or guide book for getting through the grief process.  We were all new once and it IS doable.

Do not be afraid to admit you need help getting through this.   Groww is a wonderful place to vent, cry, share, and laugh.   It is the first place I laughed out loud.   Some need additional help in the form of counseling and medications.  There is no shame in admitting you cannot do it alone. 

Do you have any special memories of your friends from Groww?  Have you ever attended a gathering, or met Groww friends in person?

My first gathering was Michigan, 2004.  I had an “escape” plan in case I didn’t like the people or in case they didn’t like me.  What a waste of time and energy that was.  Cece is the first person from Groww that I met in person and almost every other person I met was beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  Such love, warmth, comfort and compassion was almost overwhelming - and the real, in-person hugs.   

New Orleans, 2004 was my second gathering - where I cried at the bus stop with other Groww friends.  One of the widows I met in New Orleans stayed overnight at my house with her three children during the Christmas holiday.  How wonderful it was to have a house full of voices of sharing and caring.  

 

Michigan, 2005 was my third gathering, where I participated in Jay and Sheila's wedding.  Later this month I will meet with more Groww friends in Panama City.  I encourage anyone to make every effort to attend a gathering.

One of my favorite quotes (anonymous) :   "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

 

Obituary, GRHostBettyW:

It is with deep sadness that we share this with you.  Betty was a very dedicated Host and member of GROWW.  She will be missed tremendously by GROWW and the many people who talked with her here at GROWW.

Betty Lou Wilson, 74, died Aug. 15, 2005, at St. Lucie Medical Center in Port St. Lucie.  She was born in Purcell, Okla., and lived in Port St. Lucie for five years, coming from Crockett, Texas. She at tended Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, Okla.  Before retirement, she was the owner/operator of Betty Wilson Draperies in Deer Park, Texas, for 15 years.  She was a member of Walton Road Baptist Church and GROWW, a bereavement support group, both in Port St. Lucie. Survivors include her daughter, Pamela Cenk of Port St. Lucie; brothers, Ralph Parker, Bob Parker and Bill Parker, all of Tulsa, Okla.; four grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.  She was preceded in death by her husband, Llewellyn E. Wilson; and son, Terry Lee Wilson.  Memorial contributions may be made to Walton Road Baptist Church, 2001 S.E. Walton Road, Port St. Lucie, FL 34952.  SERVICES: A memorial service will be at 1 p.m. Aug. 18 at Walton Road Baptist Church, with the Rev. Steve Moore officiating. Burial will be in Parvin Cemetery in Okeene, Okla. Local arrangements are by Byrd, Young & Prill Port St. Lucie Funeral Home.

Published on TCPalm.com on 8/16/2005.

Recipe of the month:

Meatloaf

pre-heat oven to 350F

two lbs of beef                                  

2 eggs

Ritz crackers

ketchup

tomato soup

onion

Take the meat a put it in a big bowl.  Crack the two eggs in the bowl.  Take half a package and then some of the Ritz crackers and crumble up and add.  Swivel a little ketchup in the bowl and cut up an onion and add it to the bowl.  Now mix it all together.  Add it to a loaf bowl and poke six holes in it with your fingers so you can drain the fat off.  Set in oven covered with foil, not before slathering ketchup all over the top.  Drain periodically, and bake for an hour and a half.   15 minutes before it's done, take the foil off.

It's yummy!

If you would like to submit a guest column, recipe, or poem for publication in this newsletter, please send your submission to newsletter@groww.org 

 

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