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Editor
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· Pat Sirni
Associate Editor
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· Angela Dyer
Newsletter Staff
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· Lori
Petersen
GROWW Officers
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· Anne
D’Ambrosio, Executive Director
GROWW Staff
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· Libby
Morningstar, Director of Branches
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· Pat Sirni,
Grief Recovery Room Manager
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· Rachel
Frank, WebMistress
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· Phil
D’Ambrosio, Director of Security
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Message from the Executive Director - Anne D’Ambrosio
GROWW will at all times, respect your right to privacy.
Sponsors or advertisers will be available to you only if you choose to
utilize the information offered; however at no time will any prospective
advertisers/sponsors contact the members unless specifically requested by
the member. At no time will any information about a member be given for any
reason.
The grieving community is very often the most vulnerable. The new internet
user may be unaware of the prospective dangers of "trusting the wrong
person." Online stalking, exploitation, various crimes against
children are all things we hope to make you more aware of by offering as
much information as can be found.
GROWW strives to
keep our support community as safe as possible for our members.
However this is the internet and there are no guarantees that all who enter
our rooms are here for support. We offer suggestions of safety for
your protection.
- All
minors: please do not attend rooms that are un-hosted in the late
hours of the night. Report any unpleasant situations to a
host. There may be times when we might ask permission to speak
to your parents to ensure us and them that we are "watching out
for your safety" as best we can.
- There
are some who proclaim to be "seers" or "psychics"
and might contact your loved ones. Remember please, that anyone
can take "notes" about your losses from the chatrooms or
message board postings. They might use this information to make
you believe they have been in contact with your loved ones. We
suggest that you not become a victim by believing a
"stranger." We suggest that you go to the sites that
are reputable and offer this solace to you, but only because you
choose to. A "stranger" approaching you in the
chatrooms might not be reputable.
- We
have a site specifically for fund raising, http://www.helpgroww.com for you
to visit by CHOICE if you wish to show your appreciation for what we
do here. There are no fees or dues required on GROWW. If anyone
approaches you, please inform your Host or a member of the GROWW
staff.
- Should
a member that you are not familiar with, ask too many questions or
seem to be "curious" about very personal situations,
remember that there are some who would gather information because they
are doing a study or publication. We have a page on GROWW specifically
for our authors, students or professionals to request such information
openly and honestly. We at GROWW wish to assist any and all who
seek information to help the bereaved but we hope not to ever
subject members to those who violate your privacy by not
advising you of their reason for the questions.
- There
are members who come into our rooms with threats of suicide. We
are not professionals and cannot "counsel" anyone who comes
to GROWW for reasons other than peer support. A "new"
visitor with threats of shooting themselves, etc. might not always be
"real." Unfortunately there are people who play
"internet head games" with the vulnerable. Please let
our Hosts handle these situations and do not get upset thinking we are
uncaring or unfeeling. We DO care, but we cannot allow our
members to be subjected to additional pain. Our Hosts will privately
suggest these members seek professional counseling, give them
information on how to contact a Suicide Hotline or offer to contact
their local authorities for assistance. These members very often
refuse help. If no host is available, you might suggest they
visit http://www.1000deaths.com
and avoid any further confrontations.
You
can find all of this on the GROWW site http://www.groww.org/aware.htm#cyberstalking
There are quite a few links and helpful hints. It gives suggestions on how
to treat stalkers or just people who come in and are rude. Since they are
usually looking for attention, our behavior be it good or bad gets the
person the attention they are seeking.
Let
me finally say, PLEASE let our Host’s do their jobs! they have the macro’s,
let them use them. Our Host’s have been with GROWW for at least a year,
some for several years, they really don’t need members telling them what
they should say or what macro to put into the room next. Let US do our
jobs, to help you grieve and move on to the next level. If anyone has a
problem, write to staff@groww.org.
I
would also like to remind everyone that GROWW is a public site, anyone has
access to our it, please do not use last names if possible, but IF you do,
be prepared if you wrote some derogatory about someone they can print it
out and give it to their attorney. We have recently had to close the guest
book due to someone slamming family members and posting last names. Please
try to remember, we don’t have a great big staff to run this place or clean
up after the messes, we are volunteers who give to GROWW as much time as
our lives and jobs allow, please be patient when asking for a request, we
do TRY to respond to people within 48 hours.
Until
next month, Good Grief
AnneGD
Message from the Director of Branches - Libby Morningstar
The end of another season is approaching and yet one
still waits for us. For many just making it through a day is a
big, huge step. Many have had those "Special Days" such as
an anniversary, birthday, holiday, death anniversary. How did you
choose to remember your loved one? However you decided, I am
glad that you have made GROWW a place you feel safe to come. We work
very hard to make GROWW a place for sharing and that helps with the healing
process of grief by offering hope for the future.
Use GROWW to chat, to write a message or offer a word of
encouragement to others, send an email to your loved one through email to
heaven. Let GROWW be your peer support. While our deaths may be
different the hurt and pain is the same. Lean on your GROWW friends
in those tough times and support others on your strong days.
Grief Recovery is our main room for chat. Many new
to GROWW will find Grief Recovery first. Sometimes it can be
overwhelming to our new friend so take the time to check out our
site. You will find we have many, many rooms that are geared to
specific needs. Next month I will give you in a nutshell all
our rooms that also have corresponding message boards.
Until then check us out. GROWW does work....you make it
possible.
Until next month be good to you,
Libby
Phil’s Corner - Phil D’Ambrosio
Hi Guyz, On
the University of Virginia website the computer science department has
something called, The Oracle of Bacon. No folks, it has nothing to do with
breakfast. The object of the game is to start with any actor or actress
who has been in a movie and connect them to Kevin Bacon in the smallest
number of links possible. Two people are linked if they've been in a movie
together.
Saturday was the 3rd anniversary
of the terrorist attacks here in the US. I was watching a few of the
ceremonies from the 3 sites where the planes crashed. Watching family and
friends remember their love ones, I wondered how many of us could actually
link with them through degrees of separation. I have a cousin who worked in
the 2nd tower who was able to get out before the 2nd
plane hit. I also have a cousin who worked on the 108th floor of
the 1st tower. The morning of the attacks was also the first day
of school for his son, who for some reason asked his dad to drive him to
school. He was on his way to work when the first plane hit. He is the
only surviving person from his office. I grew up a few miles from where the
towers stood and being born there, you have that famous skyline imprinted
in your head. The first trip back to New York after the attacks I remember
seeing the skyline and the first thing that comes to mind was a toothless
smile. Like a boxer who gets hit with a sucker punch it just makes him
angrier and reminds him to never drop his guard again.
So, when you’re out and about this week
going about your lives and enjoying the freedoms most of us take for
granted and you see a member of our armed forces, police,
firefighter or anyone else who helps ensure us that we
can come and go as we please, take a minute to stop and thank them.
See ya next month!
Thank you’s:
This is a very nice note received from someone who was
welcomed to ask questions on our Research and Survey board. We don’t get a
lot of thank you’s, so I thought I would share this one with everyone.
Anne, I have completed my course and wanted to thank you
for you assistance. Your site is the best I found for dealing with
grief after the loss of a loved one. I have already referred a friend
of mine to you who lost her brother.
I know there were some posts with negative feelings
about people doing research on your site. I can understand why people
would feel this way, and I hope my request was not considered too
intrusive. The situations described on your website have reminded me
and the students I work with how precious life is, and how important it is
to spend time together with loved ones.
Thank you for keeping such an exceptional website going.
Steve Suter
Poetry
Corner
A Mother's Love Crystal Ann Camery
Mother's always say," I love you". Though the feeling is always
there, but somehow those three little words are the easiest ones for her to
share.
Mother's always say," I love you". In ways that words can't
match-with tender bedtime stories or a friendly game or house. You can see
the words," I love you". In a mother's girlish eyes when she runs
home all excited with a poorly wrapped surprise.
A
Mother says," I love you", with her sensitive helping hands with
a smile when you're in trouble with the way she always understands. She says,"
I love you", with awkward tenderness.{It's hard to help a seventeen
year old into adulthood).
She
speaks her love unselfishly by giving all she can to make some secret dream
come true or to follow through with plans. A Mother's shimmering, unconditional,
unspoken love shines clearly through the years, sometimes in peals of
laughter and even sometimes through happy tears.
Perhaps they have to speak their love in a fashion of their own, because
the love that Mothers feel is to big for words alone.
Host
Interview by Pat Sirni
Due to the hurricanes in Florida, Pat was unable to
prepare a host interview this month. This feature will resume next month! Our thoughts and prayers are
with everyone in the way of the storms.
If
you would like to submit a recipe or poem for publication in this
newsletter, please send your submission to newsletter@groww.org
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unsubscribe to this email click reply with UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject
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