GROWW "AWARENESS"

GROWW is dedicated to providing each of its members with the most comprehensive website available on the Internet.  We are not just about "grieving," we are about recovery, educating and making you aware of all resources available to you, that pertains to online safety for each of you, but most especially, our children.  GROWW is rated as a "SAFE SITE."  

We subscribe to the Health on the Net Code of Conduct

Listing of Non-Profit Organizations

GROWW'S AWARENESS PAGE -
"BECAUSE WE CARE"

Our Each of our Branches provides specific information, however we would like to bring to this page, all that we can to make you aware of what precautions might be taken, where to go for help and how to educate your children as well as yourselves.

GROWW will not link to any "banner" type advertising. This often leads to areas that are not suited for a family rated website.

GROWW will at all times, respect your right to privacy. Sponsors or advertisers will be available to you only if you choose to utilize the information offered, however at no time will any prospective advertisers/sponsors contact the members unless specifically requested by the member. At no time will any information about a member be given for any reason.

The grieving community is very often the most vulnerable. The new internet user may be unaware of the prospective dangers of "trusting the wrong person." Online stalking, exploitation, various crimes against children are all things we hope to make you more aware of by offering as much information as can be found.

GROWW strives to keep our support community as safe as possible for our members.  However this is the internet and there are no guarantees that all who enter our rooms are here for support.  We offer suggestions of safety for your protection.

• All minors, please do not attend rooms that are unhosted in the late hours of the night.  Report any unpleasant situations to a host.  There may be times when we might ask permission to speak to your parents to ensure us and them that we are "watching out for your safety" as best we can
• There are some who proclaim to be "seers" or "psychics" and might contact your loved ones.  Remember please,  that anyone can take "notes" about your losses from the chatrooms or message board postings.   They might use this information to make you believe they have been in contact with your loved ones.  We suggest that you  not become a victim by believing a "stranger."  We suggest that you go to the sites that are reputable and offer this solace to you, but only because you choose to.  A "stranger" approaching you in the chatrooms might not be reputable.
• We have a site specifically for fund raising, http://www.helpgroww.com for you to visit by CHOICE if you wish to show your appreciation for what we do here.  There are no fees or dues required on GROWW.  If anyone approaches you, please inform your Host or a member of the GROWW staff.
• Should a member that you are not familiar with, ask too many questions or seem to be "curious" about very personal situations, remember that there are some who would gather information because they are doing a study or publication.  We have a page on GROWW specifically for our authors, students or professionals to request such information openly and honestly.  We at GROWW wish to assist any and all who seek information to help the bereaved but we hope not to ever subject  members to those who violate  your privacy by not advising you of their reason for the questions.
• There are  members who come into our rooms with threats of suicide.  We are not professionals and cannot "counsel" anyone who comes to GROWW for reasons other than peer support.  A "new" visitor with threats of shooting themselves, etc. might not always be "real."  Unfortunately there are people who play "internet head games" with the vulnerable.  Please let our Hosts handle these situations and do not get upset thinking we are uncaring or unfeeling.   We DO care, but we cannot allow our members to be subjected to additional pain.   Our Hosts will privately suggest these members seek professional counseling, give them information on how to contact a Suicide Hotline or offer to contact their local authorities for assistance.  These members very often refuse help.  If no host is available, you might suggest they visit http://www.1000deaths.com and avoid any further confrontations. 

Our mission is to help create a user-friendly and safe online surfing experience...for everyone!

Our mission is divided into three main initiatives: safety and technology education, providing help to law enforcement and to Internet users in need and protecting the innocent online...

Cyberangels has been best known through the years by its work cooperating with law enforcement in locating online crimes and criminal content, such as child pornography, predators and stalkers, and helping train law enforcement about online search and investigation methods.

Using its special knowledge of online harassment and crimes, Cyberangels has long aided law enforcement in finding child pornography, sexual predators and other online criminal content and activities. The U.S. Customs Cybersmuggling Unit alone is arresting one online predator or child pornographer every other day in the U.S. Many of those cases involved our help. We're very proud of our track record.

Our Net Patrol program was just honored by the Mayor of New York, Rudolph Giuliani, by a proclamation naming August 15th Guardian Angel Day in New York City. The Mayor listed our Net Patrol efforts and successes and commended our volunteers.

But, there's much more to Cyberangels than just our Net Patrol!

Our new Cyber-Ed Program works with schools around the U.S., and soon around the world, in helping them set up technology programs that work! Using experienced technology and media specialists and librarians, we have developed a training and consulting program that includes curricula, teaching modules and tech plans.

And our educational programs don't stop there...

Our Net Classes program, online and offline, teach law enforcement about technology, parents about the Internet and Internet safety, and 'Net users about online safety. This program has expanded to include basic 'Net skills training and searching techniques, FAQs and information about the law as it applies to cyberspace. You can even get certified online.

And, our volunteers provide something special too...

Our volunteers in our Angels Match program mentor young people, helping them understand career and life options. Too many professionals and people in business want to be able to "give back" to their communities. Angel Watch gives them an opportunity to do that, right from their desktop...by helping others online.

Parents are faced with having to raise and guide their children, knowing that their children understand the Internet far better than they do...their frustration can best be expressed by an anecdote I heard...

A mother sits down with her child at the computer. She opens a bag from a computer store and shows her child the box. "This," she says, pointing to the box,"is a new software that will control your surfing. It will prevent you from going anywhere I don't think you should go and keep you from doing what I don't want you to do online." As her child takes the box from her hand, she asks her child, "will you install it for me?"

Parents need to be able to understand what their children are doing online, what their schools are planning to do online and how to get the most out of the Internet, safely. That's why I was brought on board...I am the author of the new book, A Parents' Guide to the Internet. We'll be giving lots of classes here and online tips for parents. We'll be designing new safety quizzes for kids too. Try out our online safety quiz, and earn a safe surfing learners permit!

Parents Guide to the Internet : And How to Protect Your Children in Cyberspace
by Parry Aftab

We help others in need as well...by providing links to advocacy and assistance organizations online, where victims of abuse and crime can find support, people in need can find others willing to help them and those willing to help make a difference can find places to devote their energies.

We help victims of online stalking, harassment and online predators. We give netizens a place to report online crimes and criminal content. We gather information on child abuse sites and sites advocating child abuse and pedophilia. and share that information with organizations and agencies interested in giving parents a choice to block access to those sites.

We teach seniors how to avoid online fraud and scams targeted at seniors. We let people know where to report criminal activities and where to seek help.

But, bottomline...online and offline, we are devoted to making a positive difference in the lives of as many people as we can...

The online world is a community, a worldwide community...where all its residents should create a new vision...to leave the community a better place than when we found it!

We're here to help!!!

"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.

"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."

Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true."

It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.

Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:

• the willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking
• the urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others
• a lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true

T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.

Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community. Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources, including:

• Symantec Anti Virus Research Center
• McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List
• Urban Legends Reference Pages
• Evaluation of Information Sources

Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.

Although cyberstalking and online harassment are a reality, they are not so prevalent that you should jump to any conclusions. In cyberspace, just as in the non-computer related aspect of your life, it is important to distinguish between actual harassment and simply rude or annoying behaviour.

Cyberstalking and online harassment can be defined similarly to conventional stalking and harassment, with the exception that they are carried out primarily via computer network communications -- most commonly, the Internet. A functional definition of stalking or harassment is a systematic series of malicious attempts to cause fear and distress in another individual.

The three most common origins of cyberstalking are, in order:

• Internet Relay Chat (IRC)
• Usenet newsgroups and message board postings
• Email

This is not to suggest that these three Internet arenas should be avoided altogether. It is merely a fact that the great bulk of online harassment stems from initial contact in IRC or Usenet postings. Also it is not unheard of for someone to find themselves the bewildered recipient of apparently causeless abusive, threatening or obscene email.

This relatively new form of harassment is starting to be taken more seriously and in fact there have already been court cases in the United States which have led to the implementation of laws which specifically address online harassment. Unfortunately, however, this attitude is not universal, and it is still not uncommon for the victim to find little or no sympathy. Quite frequently, victims have met with the attitude that mere words cannot cause harm. This is entirely absurd, however, as demonstrated by laws against such activities as libel, slander, and uttering threats. The fact that these activities may be coming from a possibly anonymous individual in a physically distant locale makes them no less distressing to the victim and no less illegal.

Following is a list of the most common forms of online harassment:

• live IRC harassment
  • direct abuse and/or threats
  • flooding the victim’s IRC channel to prevent conversation
  • impersonating the victim
• Usenet postings
  • abusive postings specifically about the victim
  • postings in the victim’s name (i.e. using the victim’s headers)
• unsolicited email
  • sent to the victim (usually obscene and/or threatening)
  • sent in the victim’s name (i.e. using the victim’s headers and reply address)
• abusive and/or obscene messages in the victim’s webpage guestbook
• accessing the victim’s account (by cracking the password)
• sending mailbombs
• sending viruses
• spamming

It is important to recognize that being a target for isolated instances of any of the above activities does not necessarily make you a victim of harassment or cyberstalking. Harassment is a campaign of terror, usually drawn out over a period of time. Cyberstalkers, like offline stalkers, typically derive great enjoyment from the distress they cause you. Generally, they want you to know they’re keeping tabs on you.

Although the imbalance is shifting rapidly, women are still a minority on the Internet. This may account for some of the intense competition among male users for the attention of the female users, particularly on the IRC channels. Sometimes this competition gets out of hand, and harassment begins.

On the other hand, there have also been instances of cyberstalking victims being known to the online stalker prior to any online contact. Frequently, the stalker in this situation will remain anonymous.

In the cyberworld, the anonymity of hiding behind a keyboard has a tendency to make some individuals more bold than they would be in a face to face confrontation. Many cases of online harassment do turn out to be all bark and no bite. However, this is not always the case and any instance of harassment should be taken seriously.

The biggest danger occurs if a cyberstalker crosses the line into the realm of conventional stalking. If this happens, the threat becomes physical and the danger very real. It is surprisingly easy to obtain such information as your real name, your home address, and your telephone number. For most, this information is readily available in the local phonebook -- the key being your name. Online, it is often extremely easy for someone to obtain your name even if you use a "handle" or "nick" or a phony email address.

If the cyberstalker crosses the line into the "offline" world, the target may become the victim of such non-computer harassment activities as follows:

• phone calls (usually repetitive, often obscene, abusive and/or threatening)
• regular postal mail (again obscene, abusive and/or threatening; sometimes just frighteningly twisted)
• acts of vandalism
• physical attack

How to Avoid Becoming a Target
Obviously, it’s better never to be a target for online harassment if you can possibly avoid it. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed way to avoid it, but there are ways to minimize the risk.

For most Internet users, much of their personal data is available to those who know how to search for it. Such personal data usually includes your full name, your address and your phone number. If you are not careful, particularly in a live chat session, a sly cyberstalker can pry all sorts of information out of you without your realizing that you’re revealing anything significant.

Never give out personal information to a stranger.

AOL, and some online services as well, provide personal profile forms where you are given the opportunity to volunteer your name, age, sex, marital status, city of residence, and more. AOL has over 4 million users who may have access to any information you provide in your personal profile.

Consider this analogy: would you walk through a crowd of strangers while wearing a placard with your name, address, credit card number, marital status, and phone number, all written in large, bold print? Probably not. So why would you consider advertising the same or equally sensitive information on the Internet, where potentially millions can access it (of which a small minority, but nevertheless certainly some, are stalkers).

Even when you have "become friends" with someone online, you shouldn’t necessarily trust them with such personal information as where you live, where you work or go to school, your phone number, etc. The non face-to-face environment of the Internet makes it far too easy to for someone to pretend to be someone they’re not. You really have no way of knowing whether or not your "friend" is lying about age, interests, or even what sex they are.

For women, use gender neutral id names online.

As some estimates put the percentage of women victims of cyberstalking as high as 80%, it may be preferable for a woman to have gender neutral user name (e.g., "jsmith" rather than "janet" or "janet_smith").

Also, choose your chat nicknames wisely. Something like "Lollipop" or "Sugar" may convey an impression you don’t really want to give, attracting creeps and weirdos like flies to... a wet sticky lollipop.

How to Deal With a Cyberstalker
It is important to remember that your harasser’s objective is to intimidate and frighten you. It is, perhaps, more important to remember that your harasser’s objective is also to provoke a reaction from you.

Following are some suggested guidelines for dealing with online harassment. You may find some or all of these suggestions to be useful. Or you may not.

Make sure to differentiate between harassment and merely inconvenient or annoying communications.

There is a difference between someone who is harassing you and someone who is being an immature idiot. One is a criminal and the situation may require police involvement, and the other is a loser and the situation may require that you laugh it off.

A good rule of thumb is that if you are ever truly frightened, that’s harassment. If you ever feel that you are in danger, it is definitely time to report the situation.

Keep your cool and ignore it.

If your harasser gets no reaction from you at all, they may get bored and move on. If, on the other hand, you flame them back, or even talk about them to others in IRC, the situation may quickly escalate beyond your comfort zone.

Cyberstalkers are looking for someone to intimidate and frighten. If you acknowledge that you are upset, you may find yourself playing right into their hand.

Don’t keep it a secret.

Quite often, harassment goes on unimpeded for a long time because the victim is too ashamed or embarrassed about the whole situation to say anything about it. Tell the appropriate online authorities, tell your parents, and if necessary tell the police. If you are a target for harassment, it’s not your fault. No one should blame you; they should help you. But they can’t help you if they don’t know about it.

Don’t let your harasser pressure you.

You don’t have to reveal anything you’re not comfortable revealing, and you don’t have to agree to anything you’re not comfortable agreeing to.

Be prepared to abandon your current IRC channel, network and/or nickname.

If someone begins to harass you in an IRC channel, change channels. If you are followed, change to another chat network. At this point, you may also consider changing your IRC nickname.

Keep all the evidence.

Keep a record of all communications with your harasser. Log your chat sessions, keep all relevant email, etc. It is wiser not to store such files on the server in case your cyberstalker is also a clever hacker. Floppies are safest for storage of most files.

If you have any communication with your stalker, limit it to calm and firm warnings.

Don’t be rude or threatening in return, because you’ll be providing them with exactly what they want: the knowledge that you’ve been upset.

You may prefer to simply tell the individual in a calm and polite manner that you do not wish to communicate with him or her. If this doesn’t seem to have any effect, you might want to warn them that any further harassing messages from them will be reported. Then be sure to follow up and report them.

Report the harassment to the appropriate online authorities.

Such authorities may include your cyberstalker’s ISP, the administrator of the IRC service, the administrator of the newsgroup, and/or the postmaster of the sender of harassing email. Remember to keep calm. It is also a good idea, when reporting to an authority, to include one of the harassing messages in full, including all header information.

If you ever believe you may be in real physical danger, contact the police.

It is important to have a log of as much of the harassing communications as possible, as this can make it easier for the police to a) have legitimate cause to investigate further, and b) find the culprit. Harassment is a crime, online or off. So even if you don’t have all the evidence, the police may still be able to help.

• CHILD SAFETY ON THE INTERNET